Love Challenge – Kindness

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

I can hear my mom’s voice when I think of what it means to be kind. She’d tell me, “Be kind to your brother, Aly,” and I’d wonder what exactly that meant. Apparently kind did not mean taking toys from him, pushing him, or whatever other mean things I was doing to him. I learned pretty quick what kind was not. But it wasn’t until I was older that I learned what kind is.

The dictionary will tell you that kind is being “of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person.”

The Blue Letter Bible says it is “to show one’s self mild, to be kind, use kindness.”

Experience tells me kindness is a way of carrying yourself. It’s consistently serving others. It’s a joyful spirit. It’s an attitude of being at peace with those around you. As I’m writing this, I realize it sounds super lofty. “Let’s all just be kind, guys.” And maybe it is. It’s an ideal to strive for, not an task I can accomplish overnight.

So if it’s such a lofty idea, how do we become kind? How do we take something so big as being kind and break it down into something attainable, something doable? Well, I’m glad you asked!

1. Commit–decide right here and now that you are going to be kind.
2. Identify–look around you at the grocery store, at Starbucks, at the park and ask, “How can I make someone else’s day a little better?”
3. Begin–do the action you just identified.
4. Practice–don’t stop. Keep looking. Keep acting. Keep being kind.

Thursday Stories

Today’s brave story is from a dear friend of mine, Emily Roosa, who always has a smile and a hug ready and waiting for me every time I see her. She’s a beautiful woman of God who’s glass is not half full or half empty but rather overflowing because she is constantly seeking the Father who pours into her daily. I hope you are encouraged by her brave story!

Stories from San Antonio
In July of 2010, I tripped on some uneven ground and hurt my foot. I knew that I either broke it or sprained it. I went to the doctor’s office and they told me it was sprained and informed me not to swing dance for a week. My all time favorite passion was swing dancing! I used to dance for hours many nights a week. I was so upset when I was told I could not dance for a week! Little did I know the adventure that God had planned for me! I soon discovered that I was misdiagnosed. Another doctor told me I had a stress fracture in my foot. So I wore a boot for several months. Then I discovered I was misdiagnosed again, and another doctor informed me that I had several fractures and a mid foot torn ligament. So I was in an orthopedic shoe, a boot or walking cast for about 6 months total. It took me a full year to get my foot back to “normal.” I was finally allowed to swing dance again!

I got to dance two swing dance songs in August 2011. The next day, the doctor said, “No more swing dancing, etc, until we find out what is wrong with your back.” After I got out of the boot and cast, while my foot was getting back to normal, my lower back started to hurt. My back was hurting for a few months prior to the two songs that I got to dance to that night. So the adventure continued. Then before I knew it, I had mysterious pain all over my body, my skin hurt, my muscles hurt, my sides hurt, I had deep aches all over. I was then tested for many things. I have had MRIs on my lower back, hips, upper back, head, cat scans on my pelvis. You name it and I was tested for it. I had skin biopsies done, x-rays, and blood work done. I was tested for MS, Lupus, and many more. It is now Feb 2015 and after seeing over 20 plus doctors and medical staff….still no one knows what is wrong with me. I have seen chiropractors, back doctors, foot doctors, hip doctor, endocrinologists, rheumatologist,  eurologists, physical therapists, massage therapists, GI doctor, an internal medicine doctor, etc. The list of doctors is never ending. I have tried stretching exercises, injections, strict diets, to name a few, and nothing has taken away the pain. I have typed up all of the testing that I have had done and the results. I also have typed up many pages of the unique symptoms that I have and the chronic pain. I have given these typed up notes to each doctor that I have seen. Some of them read my notes, some do not. I have seen good doctors and not so good doctors. Each appointment I never know how it will go. I have had medical staff say different things such as “Something is wrong!” or “I lay in bed trying to think what is wrong with you, and it just baffles me.” or  “In 20 years I have never had someone be in so much pain after a stretching exercise.” or “If you are in chronic pain for over 2 years there is nothing to really do about it.”

However, when I feel anxious, overwhelmed, sad, fearful, I lay my requests in God’s hands before and after the appointments and each time God gives me a peace and a joy, letting me know He has it all under control. The exciting thing is that when I pray, God tells me consistently that there is purpose to the duration and confusion. There is purpose to all of it! God tells me that none of this is taking Him by surprise and He knows exactly what all is wrong with me. Although this has been life changing for me in all areas…I can honestly say I am truly grateful for what God is doing! I have learned what it means to cling to God and  to pour out my heart to Him. I have learned so much about God’s character throughout all of this! God has literally guided me step by step when the path has been dark and He continues to guide me. So 4 and a half years later, the mystery still continues. I am still actively seeking medical attention, in regards to finding out what is wrong with me. God says there is purpose to all of it! So I trust Him! This whole thing has grown my faith tremendously! God is teaching me to wait in Joyful Hope! Thank You God for everything that You are doing in regards to my health! I can see You actively working in my life! I am so thankful! Although I would have never asked for this adventure, I do thank You for it! Thank You for wowing me each step of the way and never leaving my side!
Habakkuk 3:17-19

The Habits

“Children do in excess what parents do in moderation.” I don’t know who originally said it, but I’ve heard this quote more times than I can count in the last couple of weeks. Always in reference to something bad like drinking or cursing or leaving the sponge on the kitchen sink wet. I’ve definitely seen this to be true in my daughter.

My cat Jo used to make these terrible noises when she was in heat. She scratched at the door trying to go outside and howled like her life depended on it. It drove me nuts. I threw pillows in her general direction and firmly insisted that she stop (read: chunked pillows at her and missed while yelling). I never thought much about it, though. I was just reacting in frustration. I never thought I was teaching while I did that. Oh, was I put in my place.

One day, when my daughter Amelia was a little over a year old, Jo started scratching and howling at the door. My barely walking toddler waddled over to where Jo was, furrowed her tiny little brow, pointed her finger and yelled “AH WA WA WA AH! AH!” Jo was so startled she stopped howling and just stared at Amelia who had turned to me smiling for approval.

I almost broke down crying! My actions had taught my daughter that this was how you were supposed to treat animals, and she was proud of herself for it because she had done what Mommy does! I felt miserable. I jumped up and ran to her. I took her in my arms and told her I was sorry. Then we went to find Jo, who had run off to another room by this time, and we pet her and talked to her. I told Amelia, “We need to be gentle with animals.” It was real eye-opening moment. She was copying me, and it was not pretty.

I’ve since had to correct my actions. The thought never crossed my mind that I was being unkind to Jo. In that moment, though, as my daughter yelled at our cat, I realized I had been teaching her meanness instead of kindness whether I meant to or not. She didn’t understand most of my words, but she certainly understood my actions. Now when Jo gets on my nerves, I take a deep breath and then go pet her instead. Amelia quickly learned to do the same.

I could go on and on about more incidences since then in which she has impersonated me and it was fairly unflattering, but, well, it was unflattering and I don’t want to. So let’s move on.

I realized this week that “Children doing in excess what parents do in moderation” can be a good thing, too. Hubs and I pray at the beginning of every meal. Well, most meals. Well, dinner. Sometimes we pray before breakfast, if we happen to all sit down together, which happens about half of the time. Sometimes, I pray before lunch but honestly, I’m so busy trying to do 15 things at once, that I forget. I would say that prayer before a meal is something I do in moderation, although I wish that weren’t the case. I intend to do it in excess, but it just doesn’t happen. Amelia, however, has caught on that we are supposed to hold hands and close our eyes before we eat. She began by not screaming when I took her spoon from her hand to hold it during prayer. Then she started closing her eyes like we do. Then she started reaching for my hand as soon as I buckle her in her seat. I was amazed when I realized what she was doing. She was taking what I do in moderation and forming a habit. She was “praying” in excess! Today, she bowed her head and closed her eyes before snack, which isn’t even at the table where we normally eat! I wasn’t sitting with her, she wasn’t at the table. I had just handed her a snack cup with Cheerios, and she sat down and bowed her head. Wow!

Deuteronomy 6:1-9
1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess,2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I’ve heard it said that behind every good kid, there is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing everything up. In the moments when my daughter stands on the scale in the bathroom and shakes her head even though she is so light the scale doesn’t even recognize someone is standing on it, or drops her sippy cup and immediately starts crying because that’s not what she wanted, or shakes her fist at the driver in the car next to us at a red light, I am 100% certain that I’m the worst mom in the world.

Then she bows her head to pray before snack time and I remember who my God is. He fills in where I mess up, and He is using her to refine me. He shows me, through Amelia, that the things I am doing right–talking about Jesus, praying, reading the Bible, having Scripture on our walls and on the radio in the car, loving the Lord with all my heart, soul, and strength as best I can–these things are all good and fruitful. Amelia is getting it, as much as a year-and-a-half old can. Oh, I hope to continue more of the good things and less of the bad things!

The Apartment

Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll be living in a new home by the time you read this. As of right now, though, I live in an apartment. Today is Monday, and I am writing this for you to read next Monday, which is today, because you’re reading it right now. Wibbly wobbly, right?

See, I’ll be a little bit busy this weekend moving from our apartment of three years to our new house, and I don’t think I’ll get around to writing a post during all that, especially since I don’t know if we’ll have the internet up and running by then. So, hello from the past!  Timey wimey!

I am really really excited about moving. We intended to live in an apartment for a year, two years max. Now, after three years, we’re finally going to have a yard again! We’ll be able to invite people over for dinner and not be cramped. We’ll be able to paint walls, and change floors, and move things around and, plant vegetables, and start fires (in a contained location for the purpose of smores, of course), and, oh! I’m so excited!!

But for now, while I’m writing this, I am still living in an apartment.
For four more days. Sigh.

Although I am incredibly anxious to have a yard again, I have to admit, I am feeling a little bit nostalgic. We’ve had three good years here, and today, I heard this song by Trace Adkins on the radio. It kind of got to me, like music often does. I remember being a teenager and wanting so badly to be an adult. I wish I had just slowed down, taken some of my mother’s advice, and enjoyed being a teen. Later, I wanted more than anything to be married. Then, to have kids and be a stay at home mom. Now, to move to a house that we plan to grow old in. The thing is, there will always be a next step. Always something else to strive for. I don’t want to  always be on the look out for the next step. I want to enjoy life right now. Soak in the moments, smell the roses, all that jazz.

Philippians 4:4-13
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I need to rejoice always. Not rejoice later when I’m in a house. Not rejoice later when I have a yard. But rejoice always. I need to rejoice even in my apartment. I need to be gentle. I need to pray, and petition, and be thankful. I need to refuse anxiousness and let the peace of God guard my heart and mind. So, even in the midst of moving and waiting and messy, I need to give a squeeze nice and slow, take a deep breath, and let it go. (Any other Daniel Tiger fans out there?) The person described in verses 4-7 would not be anxious to get out of here. She would calm down and rejoice in the Lord for the good times now past. I am going to take verse 8’s advice and focus on some positives.

10 Awesome Things That Have Happened While Living in an Apartment

1. My first pregnancy was here. It was a long, beautiful, trying, wonderful 9 months!

2. This is where we brought Amelia home after she was born. I’ll never forget the joy I felt standing in my living room here surrounded by family. The seams of the apartment nearly burst with all the love that was in here.

3. My hubby and I have worked through many, many, many issues in our marriage here. We’ve grown in patience, in kindness, in joy. We’ve become more open with each other, and our communication has improved tenfold. I think we’ve come a long way in three years.

4. Living here without the support I had back home forced me to face some things in myself that I had been avoiding. I learned to lean on God more fully and draw my strength and joy from Him.

5. I learned how to cook here. I knew some basic things, like macaroni and cheese or calling Pizza Hut, and I had tried a little bit during our first year of marriage, but now I can comfortably make something different for dinner every night, and it’s healthy, mostly. Also, I can bake now. Whoa.

6. Amelia’s first steps, first words, first peepee on the potty, I could go on, and on, and on. The first year and a half of her life has been here, and it’s been amazing.

7. Getting to know my neighbors. Although apartment life means our neighbors change often, it also puts more urgency in the friendship. We might only know you for a year, so I need to tell you about Jesus.

8. We brought home our second kitty, Sadie, to this apartment. We’ve had our first kitty, Jo, for almost four years, and we’ve had Sadie now for almost two years.

9. Our family has grown from 2 adults and a kitty, to 2 adults, 2 kitties, 1 toddler, and 2 babies in heaven.

10. I discovered that I actually can grow plants.

10 Things I’ll Miss About Apartment Life

1. When things break, somebody else fixes it.

2. Somebody else does the lawn care.

3. Close proximity to neighbors. I love getting to know who I’m living near.

4. The pool. There’s very little chance we’ll ever have anything bigger than a kiddie pool in our backyard. The pool here is big, and awesome, and, most importantly, maintained by someone else.

5. Small utility bills.

6. The shared patio. Sitting outside almost guarantees that someone to talk to will stop by.

7. The downsizing. The small size of the apartment forced me to figure out which things I really really wanted and to get rid of the rest.

8. The gym. Sure, I only stepped foot in there once, but still. I could have used it any time I wanted–if I had wanted.

9. The office ladies. They’re really nice.

10. The events. We’ve had Easter egg hunts, and pool parties, and various other events to build a sense of community.

Yes, I’ll miss this place. It has been a very good three years.

Let’s look at the last few verses again.

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Content whatever the circumstances. Whether apartment or house. Whether 10 kids or three. Whether SAHM or working. Whether 25 years old or 100. The Lord is the source of my strength in every situation.

Ends of the earth, here I come! (eventually)

The Holiday

Sorry about my lack of consistent posting, but I have a really good excuse: December.

This holiday season has been one of my busiest yet. We had plans every weekend starting on Thanksgiving and going until New Year’s Day. We visited this family and that family, and those friends and these friends. On top of all that, we are purchasing a new (to us) home. So in between get togethers and shindigs, hubs and I were house hunting—we are currently in the inspection phase of our dream home! Woohoo! And in between shindigs and house hunting, I’ve been packing up just about everything in our apartment. With a toddler. Yup. Busy.

Now that the chaos is settling down, Christmas is over, nothing left to plan aside from moving, I thought I’d sit down and reflect on this season that passed oh so quickly. Did I focus on the birth of Jesus or on traveling and shopping? Did my actions this season reflect the humility I feel when I think about the Creator of heaven and earth coming to Earth as a tiny baby to save me? If others had observed me this December, was it obvious that I was celebrating CHRISTmas, or could I have just as easily been celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or Festivus?

I would like to think that it was obvious that I was celebrating Jesus’ birth. The best way to tell where your heart is, though, is to look at your time and your money. My time was spent packing up the apartment, eating delicious things, wrapping presents, driving to Houston/East Texas/Austin, eating other delicious things, playing games that got us all laughing, chewing the fat with family and friends, eating even more delicious things, playing with kids, and driving back home. My money was spent on food and gas and presents and food (are you seeing a pattern?) and decorations. All good things. All things that could glorify God. All things that non-Christians spend their time and money on also. So, what set me apart? Anything? Anything at all?

Christmas Eve was spent at my dad’s house, just like last year and the year before and most years before that. We played and giggled all day long. Evening finally arrived. We had dinner together, and the kids put together some awesome wooden puzzles my dad made for them. The kids were itching to open presents, but Grandad (a.k.a. my daddy) said there was something we had to do first. We all sat down in the living room, and he told us about creation praising the Lord. Then we read the Animal’s Christmas Eve and sang happy birthday to Jesus as if we were animals praising God—I make a pretty good kitty cat, by the way. We opened presents then made a birthday cookie cake for Jesus. We ended the evening by sharing our prayer needs with each other.

That’s what sets us apart. Yes, we did lots of things that non-Christians do, too, in December because it’s tradition and it’s fun. But we also paused and refocused on Jesus. And then did it again and again so we didn’t forget. We are set apart.

I can say with some confidence that it was obvious I celebrated Christmas instead of Festivus, and not simply because I said “Merry Christmas” in response to “Happy Holidays,” but because I paused, because my family paused, to remind ourselves of the true reason for the season: Jesus coming to Earth as a baby so that He would grow up to live a blameless life, take the punishment for my sin by dying on the cross, and conquer death so that I might live.

Even though Christmas is over and it’s a new year, Merry Christmas, ya’ll.

Ends of the earth, here I come!

P.S. Below are a few of the awesome conversations I had with my niece and nephew who are adorable. I wish I had a tape recorder listening to them all day long.

Asher: do you know who won between God and Pharaoh?
Me: tell me who won
Asher: God won of course
Zoee: God always wins His battles.
———————–
Grandma: what does the sun do when it shines?
Zoee: it praises Jesus!

Thursday Stories

Hello again! I hope you’re enjoying this series of stories as much as I am! This next story was written by a dear friend of mine who has refused to let me respond to the question “how are you? ” with “okay” or “fine” when I’m actually not. She genuinely wants to know how I am. She celebrates with me when I actually am okay, fine, or better because she knows what I went through to get there.
Her story is hard but thanks to God’s strength she has come out the other side joyful. Her courage has been a huge encouragment to me.

Stories from San Antonio

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

“Hey God, it’s me again. I just want to take a minute and remind you that sometimes it is REALLY hard to do the things you ask of me. Sometimes I think it might be impossible. I mean, I know you’re there, and I know it can happen because of You, but I still just want to remind you, it’s not easy. Oh yeah, that is how you want it isn’t it…”

I know I’m not the only one who has conversations like this with God. I know I’m not the only one who looks around and says “but….” However, sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one that thinks Job had it easy, maybe building an ark would be more simple, or parting the Red Sea a bit less of a challenge than what God has set before me. But when I stop, and I really think, and I really study, and I really pray instead of just whining, I realize that no matter what God sets in front of me, I absolutely don’t want to be the one who steps away from the call and retreats to the sidelines.

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?” Kathleen Kelly ~ You’ve Got Mail

Sometimes I forget, it seems impossible to do, but it’s true. Sometimes I forget what I have been through, what trials and hardships I’ve had to endure. Instead sometimes I look at my life, and I think that it is small, that it is filled with drudgery, and that it is menial in the scope of God’s kingdom. Sometimes I get frustrated because I want to write a book to tell my story, and it just doesn’t happen. Then I get extra frustrated because I have felt for years that God wants me to tell my story, so why can’t I write it? That’s when I realize that telling my story can happen in a number of ways. That’s when I realize that my life isn’t small if I live it for God no matter how menial the tasks may feel. That’s when I realize that God has given me a story not only so that I can tell it, but so that I can live it. So I can walk alongside others in the hard parts of their stories and be a supporting character. Is it hard for me? Yes. Does it bring up my own hurts and open old wounds? Yes. Are we meant to live a life of ease and comfort? No.

I have spent much of my adult life wondering why I was “gifted” with the ability to see through the façade people put up, why I struggle with being overly blunt, and why it’s really hard for me to listen or observe a situation and not immediately say, “Well, duh, this is how you fix it.” Then I walked with Aly for a while.

You see, God sent me down a path, and it was dark and twisted, and full of pain, but He set me there. He blessed me with four precious babies, but He took three of them from me too soon. He took my son at 32 weeks of my pregnancy, and then He gave me a beautiful, rambunctious little girl. But then He took the next baby at only six weeks of pregnancy. And then, again, He took from me a daughter at 21 weeks of pregnancy. And that last time, that last time I should have died. But I didn’t.

“Why God, why?”

“So that you can walk with others, my child.”

So that I can sit and cry with the momma who is so anxious about her growing belly because of the fears she has for the health of that child. So I can look a friend in the eyes when they say they are “OK” just a few short weeks after a miscarriage, and I can say, “Really? Because you’re allowed to still hurt.” So that I can use my words to help others realize they are not alone, they are not the only one ever to walk through something like this, and even though it seems all is blackness, there is light, there is hope, and there can be joy again.

Are my days of bravely facing the unknown in my past? Hardly! It seems like I am again on the precipice of a huge choice – do I jump off the cliff and trust that God is there, or do I turn and walk back down the mountain that He and I have climbed? What is next for my family and me? Well, we spent the whole last year preparing our house to sell, so we could move to the country and start a farm. Then God spoke, and not in the quiet whisper I’m kind of used to, but in the loud booming, you-can’t-ignore-it voice. What did He say? Well, He told us that we weren’t moving, that we were staying right where we are for a few more years. What will we do other than go stir crazy in the house I can’t wait to get out of? Well, we are going to foster some kids, and maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll get to adopt some, too.

P.S. You’d better believe I’m scared by this. But you know what? There is a part of me, inside somewhere, that can’t stop smiling…

The Phone

My daughter accidentally dropped my phone in HEB on Thursday. And when I say “accidentally dropped,” what I mean is, “threw it down the aisle because she was tired of playing with it.” Yeah. Life with a toddler.

This was not the first accidental drop my phone has taken. When we first got these phones two years ago, I dropped my phone from my knee to the concrete while sitting outside, and it cracked the screen. My Otterbox arrived in the mail the next day. Then, about a week later, I was showing off my awesome new Otterbox and dropped my phone, and there went another crack off of the original one. These two cracks were all I had for a long time. Then one fateful day, my little baby became a toddler. She would play with my phone and then carefully lay it on the table when finished. When I say “carefully lay it on the table,” what I mean is, “throw it onto the ground with as much force as a 16 month old can muster.” Yeah. Toddlers.

Well, after my two cracks and a few months of toddlerdom, my phone finally bit the dust in the school supply aisle of my local HEB. The screen turned all sorts of beautiful colors, and the ringtone was a delightful out-of-tune version of what it used to be. Needless to say, the touch screen no longer worked, and by lunch time, the beautiful colors were just black and the phone was ready for the dump. Since it was time for an upgrade anyway (It was time for an upgrade last month but we were debating whether to stay with our current carrier or switch. #firstworldproblems), we decided to go ahead and get a new one instead of doing the insurance thing.

Now I have to wait FOUR DAYS for my new phone to arrive in the mail. FOUR DAYS! Can you believe that? Four days without Facebook, Instagram, and Gmail in the palm of my hand. Four days of not listening to Adventures in Odyssey through the tape thingamajig in my car. Four days of not being able to text or make a phone call or play Angry Birds! How would I drive anywhere without GPS? How would I let the world know how awesome my sandwich was at lunch? How would I capture adorable moments of my daughter playing in a mere 10,000 photos?

In the midst of all my frustration and impatience, I recalled some unease my missions pastor had about my trip to Madagascar. He was pretty concerned with how I would transition from the one of the richest countries in the world to one of the poorest, especially since I’ve never been outside the US. I confidently informed him that although I’m not accustomed to things like outhouses and public wells and things of the sort, I would certainly find the strength within me to deal with these sorts of things. Of course I’d be able to adjust, even if it was a little bit difficult. It’s not like I’m one of those spoiled American brats who buys new clothes just because, or has multiple cars, or goes out to eat whenever the mood strikes, or is dependent on a phone for daily tasks.

Oh, wait.

Upon realizing that I was most certainly a spoiled American brat, I decided to turn to Scripture for help. The Bible says a lot about wealth. Basically, the love of money is the root of all evil. But not all Scripture says that money is a terrible, terrible thing, which surprised me. In fact, Solomon talks about wealth very fondly in Ecclesiastes. And Paul is just as content with prosperity as he is with being poor.

Ecclesiastes 7

¹¹ Wisdom along with an inheritance is good
And an advantage to those who see the sun.
¹² For wisdom is protection just as money is protection,
But the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the lives of its possessors.
¹³ Consider the work of God,
For who is able to straighten what He has bent?
¹⁴ In the day of prosperity be happy,
But in the day of adversity consider—
God has made the one as well as the other
So that man will not discover anything that will be after him.

Solomon is the richest, wisest guy ever and he says that money and wisdom are both very good things. He calls them both protection, which interestingly enough, is the Hebrew word tsel which means “shadow, shade.” The same word was used 53 times in the Old Testament. Sometimes, it meant literally the shade of a tree or rooftop like in Jonah. The tree that the Lord provided and then took away shaded Jonah as he sat outside Ninevah after the people turned from their wicked ways. Other times, the word meant something closer to refuge as in Psalm 57. David took refuge in the Lord, in the shadow of His wings. He was on the run from Saul, living in caves, and trusting in the Lord for protection.

In Ecclesiastes 7, Solomon is calling money a refuge. A place to sit and rest without the heat of the sun beating down. With money, I am comfortable. I can have a phone and buy clothes when I feel like it and go out to eat when the mood strikes. Money protects me from starvation and from weather. It protects me from discomfort or even sickness. Money is most certainly a protection.

Wisdom is also called protection but there’s a major difference between the two. Wisdom protects and preserves the lives of its possessors where money only protects. Wisdom offes security beyond basic needs of survival like food and shelter. Wisdom revives and restores. Wisdom refreshes.

Solomon explains that God made prosperity as well as adversity in order to show man that there is nothing that will be after him. Money is good but it’s just money. Wisdom is good but adversity still visits the wise. And no one can change that. God allows for both for His glory. Can anyone undo what God has done? Can anyone alter what God has set in motion? No, not one! So whether I’m in America with a phone and other wonderful modern conveniences or in Madagascar without any of those things, God has made them both and it is possible to be content in both. My contentment should not be from conveniences but rather from the Lord. Check out Paul’s words to the church at Philippi.

Philippians 4

¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. ¹¹ Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. ¹² I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. ¹³ I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. 

Living humbly and living in prosperity is no different when my strength comes from the Lord. So, I will be without a phone for four days. Oh well. I will learn to be content. I suppose traveling to Madagascar will probably be a rougher transition than I originally imagined, but the Lord created the situation in the United States just as He created the situation in Madagascar.

Ends of the earth, here I come!

The Parent

Do you ever feel like you are telling your kids to do something that you don’t do?

“Eat all your vegetables!” but you didn’t even put vegetables on your plate.
“Check your attitude!” you say in your best Oscar the Grouch voice.
“Get outside and exercise!” but you haven’t gone running since high school.

I have noticed myself doing this lately, and I find that I correct my daughter on things that bug me the most about myself. I literally just ate leftover pancakes for lunch, but my daughter had rice, mustard greens, and navy beans. I made her drink all of her water, too. I had Dr. Pepper. Also, I am not always the nicest person some mornings. I get grouchy. Not every morning, but sometimes. When my daughter wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, though, I correct her on that. I want her to wake up with a smile but I don’t have to? I think I see a problem here…

Let’s looks at Matthew 5 again. This passage keeps coming up in my life, so maybe I ought to take some note of it.

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.
¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; ¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

I have absolutely no reason to be grouchy in the morning. I have a warm bed that I wake up in every morning. My husband is snoring contentedly next to me. My daughter is in the next room. She may be crying or playing depending on her mood that day, but she’s there and she’s safe. I have an indoor bathroom. Even one generation ago, a significant number of Americans couldn’t say that. My kitchen is stocked with good, nutritious food. I don’t have to worry about whether or not I will have breakfast that morning. Instead I worry about whether to make pancakes, oatmeal, grits, toast, or just cut up some fresh fruit. I don’t mean to brag but I’ve got it pretty dang good, ya’ll!

One of the concerns that some people have had about my trip to Madagascar is the different culture. Currently, Madagascar is one of the 10 poorest countries in the world. The United States of America is on the other end of the scale, though. I understand that it’s different, but I can’t seem to wrap my mind around just how unalike these two countries are. The feeling is similar to when I learned how to multiply double digits. I understood the concept and I understood single digit multiplication, so I knew double digit multiplication was possible. I knew it was a thing, but I couldn’t get my mind to understand just what was involved in that until I actually put pencil to paper and did it myself. I think the same is going to be true about traveling to Madagascar: I understand the concept of a different culture, and I know that it is possible for people to live well and happily without all the modern conveniences, like sinks that are inside, but I don’t think I will understand what that truly means until I step off the plane and see Madagascar for myself. Until I live there for two weeks and interact with people. Eat, sleep, and drink they way they do. Live life with them. And I am thrilled to get to do that. If I am going to be a light for all men to see and glorify God, I need to check my attitude. Instead of waking up grouchy, I am going to start counting five good things every morning before I roll out of bed. I have it pretty good here, and in order to get ready to go to a place that is so significantly different from what I am used to, I need to start recognizing what I have.

The other side of that coin is knowing that I don’t really have what I have. All that I own is not mine. It has been entrusted to me by the Lord in order that I might use it to shine for Him. That knowledge helps me not worry about funds for my trip. He has $5,000. The money is no problem. Remember Philippians 4:19? “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” God could have easily dropped whatever Paul and Timothy needed right into their laps. He’s God. He can do that. But instead, God prompted the church at Philippi to send resources to them, and then God blessed the church. That’s still true today, ya’ll. God could drop a plane ticket, cash for food, and some extra to bless the ministry already happening in Madagascar into my lap, but He hasn’t done that. He did that for the Israelites in the desert. He dropped manna into their laps daily. He could do it for me, but He hasn’t. I think that’s because God want to use you. So, if you would like to contribute to that, if you would like to allow God to use your resources to send me to Madagascar on His behalf, you can click here and donate. I don’t have any money raised yet, but I sure could use some. And please, share the link even if you’re not going to donate. Maybe you have a friend who will.

Ends of the earth, here I come!