Thursday Stories – Collection of a Brave Life

     In Spring of 2010, my father in law was diagnosed with lung cancer. My in-laws lived in rural Ohio at the time, and we live near Houston. Jack’s doctor wanted to surgically remove the tumor, but we weren’t so sure and wanted him to come to Texas to be seen at a top cancer treatment center in Houston, MD Anderson. I can’t even say that we prayed extensively about this, we just knew that having him come to Texas was the right thing. We urged him to come, and both he and my mother-in-law came down to stay with us while he got a second opinion. Cancer diagnosis and treatment is not simple, of course, and in the end they were with us for three months.

     All that time, so much was different in our household, and everyone was so brave. Jack, most of all, showed bravery by meeting every doctor, every nurse, every technician, every treatment with a smile, a kind word, and a chuckle. When we weren’t at MD Anderson, he was working from “home”, where he had set up his office in my kitchen. Rarely was a complaint heard from this man. My kids were brave; they weren’t used to Mom being gone so much as I accompanied my my in-laws to the various appointments, but they handled it wonderfully by helping out more than usual and giving up summer activities without complaint. My mother-in-law helped with the cleaning and missed her home so badly that summer. My husband worked his job as usual that summer and spent many evenings visiting with his parents and supported me in any way he could. As for my part, I had to be brave too, I drove dear Jack downtown every day for 3 months for radiation treatments. At least once a week we stayed all day so he could have a doctor’s visit, chemotherapy, and blood work done too. As stay-at-home mom, being gone so much was very new to me and to the rest of the family. My life felt very topsy-turvy that summer.

     Our family was very blessed by this whole experience. Jack was one of the most patient and kind men I have ever known, and I am so glad that my kids and I got to know him so much better that year. He never got terribly sick while with us and caregiving was not a big issue. His tumor did disappear that summer, and he continued to visit us every three months for check ups. In Spring of 2012, his tumor reappeared and he was advised to get treatment at home this time. He passed away in December of 2012. We will always remember his ability to smile and relax in the face of adversity, and his many quips and quotes. The time he spent in our home and with our children has truly enriched us.

     If you ask me, bravery comes when you do what needs to be done. When you don’t want to but are willing because you know it’s right. I did not really WANT to host my in-laws for an entire summer, giving up the normal school-break fun and activities, and spending countless hours in a cancer treatment center instead. But what I wanted didn’t matter. Bravery just happens because life happens. There is no need to go seeking opportunities to be brave and courageous, they will find you! You don’t need to climb mountains, face giants, or rescue victims to prove you are brave; there are lots of regular-looking folks around you facing unseen battles and being silently courageous.

     I think that when faced with a difficult decision or situation, the only way to deal with it is to draw strength from the One who gives it and to forge ahead. Make sure you are on the right path first, but that is usually obvious. Throughout my life as a Christian, God has given me plenty of opportunities to be brave. Some situations, I can say I met bravely, sometimes I cower and hesitate. I guess my thought on bravery is this–when facing difficulty, trial, fear, there is only one way to deal with it. Get through it. You can do this with or without leaning on God, you can do this with or without leaning on His Word and the Holy Spirit and the love of Christ. You can go it alone, which is also brave, but is more difficult. You can do it with Him and know that you will be stronger for it. The little saying, “If God brings you to it, then He will get you through it” is not scripture, but it’s a quick little reminder to lean on Him in hard times.

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Cheryl Hochstettler has homeschooled her 5 children for the last 19 years. She first trusted
in Jesus at the age of 20 when attending an outreach ministry. She loves to cook, feed
friends, and teach her children. She is involved in meal ministry at her church, providing meals for church family in need. Cheryl and her family moved from her home state of Ohio to the great state of Texas in 2001. Cheryl teaches history at a homeschool co-op in Sugar Land, Texas, with a group of wonderful friends and fellow teachers. She and her husband, Patrick, have been married for 26 years. They like to bicycle together and would like to travel when their children are older.

Thursday Stories – First Big Kid Job

One of the perks of being the youngest sibling is that you never have to worry about taking care of yourself. Growing up, I always had someone looking out for me. Even into my college years, I had my parents and two older sisters watching my back. I never had to think about where my next meal was coming from, how to take care of my car, insurance, or even bills. All of these things were taken care of with no effort required from me. My whole life I had planned on living close to my parents once I graduated college because I love them, and they made my life easier. Life would continue the way I liked it. After I graduated college, I lived with my parents for a semester while I looked for teaching jobs in the San Antonio and Austin area. As the summer grew closer I began to become concerned. I hadn’t received a single call from any of the places I applied to. I was signed up to work at TbarM Camps for the summer, so I went into my summer job still not knowing where I would be working in the fall.

A little background on my TbarM experience: during the summers I have always worked with TbarM Camps. This is a Christian owned sports camp near San Antonio. For three summers I worked as a coach for their overnight camp. This last summer, however, I felt called to lead in their brand new program called Discover 252. This was the inaugural year for this new program, and I had been asked to be a part of the leadership team. This program took TbarM camps to different churches all over Texas. We ended up hosting 10 different week long camps. It was a hard summer, and I grew a lot in my relationship with the Lord. I also learned more about what it looks like to be a leader. I have loved my summers spent with TbarM. This summer I was very dependent on the Lord to provide me with a job. I knew camp would be crazy intensive, and I was worried about having enough time to devote to job searches. I prayed a lot for God to provide me with a job. I had no idea what He had in store.

During camp, since we were traveling all over the state, we lived with host families. About three to five staff would stay at each house. We grew very close to our host families because of the nature of our stay. Throughout the summer, I would always tell my host family the struggles I was going through, because I loved to hear their advice. One of the struggles I talked about was that I still didn’t have a job. When our camp traveled to Midland, TX, I had some great conversations with my host family. They were very wise people, and were so great to talk to. After a while they told me about a school that they had worked with there in town. They told me about the second grade position that was available. I wasn’t very interested in living in Midland, nor was I interested in teaching second grade. I applied anyways and left it as a backup.

I will skip some of the details and get to the meat. So, at this point of the summer, there were about 5 more weeks until school started. I had two job offers, one that was a dream job in Austin, and the other one in Midland. I prayed insistently for God to make the path for me clear. Austin was the obvious choice in my head, with the perfect position, and in a beautiful city that was close to my parents, who wouldn’t have chosen that job? God, however, was making it clear in my heart that he was calling me to something different. Midland, TX, where there isn’t much green, and not a lot of anything else, was being put on my heart. I prayed about it for a few days, and I made the call to the Midland school and accepted their offer.

Even though this was an exciting time, accepting my very first big kid job, I was also afraid. I was fighting with God, asking him why he was making me do this. I didn’t want to go somewhere that was basically nowhere, nor did I want to leave the people I loved. I cried out to God to not make me go. I basically threw several little kid tantrums kicking and screaming at God. But just like a father, He held me through my tantrums and stayed firm in his stance. He knew what would be best for me, and that was to move away from what I knew and loved.

God knows that I need to grow in my independence. He knows that to become stronger, I need to learn how to face life without being dependent on others. I need to find dependence in Him, and Him alone. I had been praying for the past 2 years for God to grow me in this area, and He has. He has given me baby step after baby step, to lead me to where I am now. I am growing into an adult, and the plans he has prepared for me are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope, and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). It is up to me to trust that God has my best interest at heart, and to follow Him, no matter where he leads me. I can’t wait to see how God will grow me and teach me here in Midland. It is a new adventure I have embarked on, and I am glad that God didn’t bend when I cried for Him to make life easy for me. I will be brave because God is on my side.

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My name is Rebecca Zwart and I am a daughter of the Lord. I graduated this past December from Oklahoma State university with a degree in Elementary Education. My family consists of two wonderful parents, two awesome older sisters, and two caring older brothers (in-law). I am single, and have no kids. My passions are God, music, sports, and theater.

The Woman

Today’s post is a story I jotted down a while back. My husband and I had just purchased a house when this happened. We had one week between the time we closed on the house and the time our lease ended at our apartment, which was about 4 miles away. So we moved a few things in on the day we closed, which was a Thursday, and waited until Saturday before moving the bulk of our things and spent the next several days thoroughly cleaning the apartment. This incident happened on Friday morning during the weird in-between time when we lived in two places at once.

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I went to the apartment this morning to get something to make for breakfast. Then I planned to buy some coffee for my husband because the coffee pot was not set up at the new house yet. I was debating between Shipley’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, and Starbucks. They’re all on the same road with just a block or so in between them. I started to pull into Shipley’s but changed my mind to Dunkin’ Donuts because I really like their hot chocolate.  Had I decided to go to Shipley’s instead of Dunkin Donuts, I wouldn’t be telling you this story. As I drove past Shipley’s and up to the first red light, I saw a woman walking down the street. I assumed she was heading toward the bus stop there at the corner, but it turned out she was actually heading towards the trash can at the bus stop. She was an older woman, probably at least 60. She was dressed head to toe in at least 5 or 6 layers of clothes and I imagine she may have been carrying all of her clothes with her, but I’m not real sure. The sight of her broke my heart. Where was her family? What happened that she was alone digging through trash cans?

She reached into the trash can and pulled out a What-a-Burger cup. She shook it and realized there was drink left in it, so she gulped it down. She looked in the trash can again, but I guess there was nothing else in there to eat or drink, so she kept walking. I looked in the seat next me and saw the large pile of food I had gathered from the apartment and I thought about my decision to purchase some coffee and hot chocolate this morning, and immediately I felt humbled.

I pulled into the parking lot she was walking in, and I got out of my car. “I have food in my car,” I said. “Would you like some?” She kind of cast her eyes down but nodded yes and walked to my car. I opened up my car door and told her to choose what she wanted. She took a box of cereal and some quinoa milk, a bunch of bananas, and several other items. “God bless you,” I said. She nodded quickly, kind of snorted, said “ya ya” and went on her way. I got back into the car and went to Dunkin’ Donuts and bought a cup of coffee, a cup of hot chocolate and a couple of eclairs, the whole time wishing there was something more I could have done. How small I am in the face of things like poverty and hunger!

I can’t help but feel abundantly blessed with this great house we have and the ability to buy coffee when I want, and I wish there was more I could have done. God used me to provide a breakfast for her, but He used her to show me how overflowing my life is.

The Apartment

Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll be living in a new home by the time you read this. As of right now, though, I live in an apartment. Today is Monday, and I am writing this for you to read next Monday, which is today, because you’re reading it right now. Wibbly wobbly, right?

See, I’ll be a little bit busy this weekend moving from our apartment of three years to our new house, and I don’t think I’ll get around to writing a post during all that, especially since I don’t know if we’ll have the internet up and running by then. So, hello from the past!  Timey wimey!

I am really really excited about moving. We intended to live in an apartment for a year, two years max. Now, after three years, we’re finally going to have a yard again! We’ll be able to invite people over for dinner and not be cramped. We’ll be able to paint walls, and change floors, and move things around and, plant vegetables, and start fires (in a contained location for the purpose of smores, of course), and, oh! I’m so excited!!

But for now, while I’m writing this, I am still living in an apartment.
For four more days. Sigh.

Although I am incredibly anxious to have a yard again, I have to admit, I am feeling a little bit nostalgic. We’ve had three good years here, and today, I heard this song by Trace Adkins on the radio. It kind of got to me, like music often does. I remember being a teenager and wanting so badly to be an adult. I wish I had just slowed down, taken some of my mother’s advice, and enjoyed being a teen. Later, I wanted more than anything to be married. Then, to have kids and be a stay at home mom. Now, to move to a house that we plan to grow old in. The thing is, there will always be a next step. Always something else to strive for. I don’t want to  always be on the look out for the next step. I want to enjoy life right now. Soak in the moments, smell the roses, all that jazz.

Philippians 4:4-13
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I need to rejoice always. Not rejoice later when I’m in a house. Not rejoice later when I have a yard. But rejoice always. I need to rejoice even in my apartment. I need to be gentle. I need to pray, and petition, and be thankful. I need to refuse anxiousness and let the peace of God guard my heart and mind. So, even in the midst of moving and waiting and messy, I need to give a squeeze nice and slow, take a deep breath, and let it go. (Any other Daniel Tiger fans out there?) The person described in verses 4-7 would not be anxious to get out of here. She would calm down and rejoice in the Lord for the good times now past. I am going to take verse 8’s advice and focus on some positives.

10 Awesome Things That Have Happened While Living in an Apartment

1. My first pregnancy was here. It was a long, beautiful, trying, wonderful 9 months!

2. This is where we brought Amelia home after she was born. I’ll never forget the joy I felt standing in my living room here surrounded by family. The seams of the apartment nearly burst with all the love that was in here.

3. My hubby and I have worked through many, many, many issues in our marriage here. We’ve grown in patience, in kindness, in joy. We’ve become more open with each other, and our communication has improved tenfold. I think we’ve come a long way in three years.

4. Living here without the support I had back home forced me to face some things in myself that I had been avoiding. I learned to lean on God more fully and draw my strength and joy from Him.

5. I learned how to cook here. I knew some basic things, like macaroni and cheese or calling Pizza Hut, and I had tried a little bit during our first year of marriage, but now I can comfortably make something different for dinner every night, and it’s healthy, mostly. Also, I can bake now. Whoa.

6. Amelia’s first steps, first words, first peepee on the potty, I could go on, and on, and on. The first year and a half of her life has been here, and it’s been amazing.

7. Getting to know my neighbors. Although apartment life means our neighbors change often, it also puts more urgency in the friendship. We might only know you for a year, so I need to tell you about Jesus.

8. We brought home our second kitty, Sadie, to this apartment. We’ve had our first kitty, Jo, for almost four years, and we’ve had Sadie now for almost two years.

9. Our family has grown from 2 adults and a kitty, to 2 adults, 2 kitties, 1 toddler, and 2 babies in heaven.

10. I discovered that I actually can grow plants.

10 Things I’ll Miss About Apartment Life

1. When things break, somebody else fixes it.

2. Somebody else does the lawn care.

3. Close proximity to neighbors. I love getting to know who I’m living near.

4. The pool. There’s very little chance we’ll ever have anything bigger than a kiddie pool in our backyard. The pool here is big, and awesome, and, most importantly, maintained by someone else.

5. Small utility bills.

6. The shared patio. Sitting outside almost guarantees that someone to talk to will stop by.

7. The downsizing. The small size of the apartment forced me to figure out which things I really really wanted and to get rid of the rest.

8. The gym. Sure, I only stepped foot in there once, but still. I could have used it any time I wanted–if I had wanted.

9. The office ladies. They’re really nice.

10. The events. We’ve had Easter egg hunts, and pool parties, and various other events to build a sense of community.

Yes, I’ll miss this place. It has been a very good three years.

Let’s look at the last few verses again.

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Content whatever the circumstances. Whether apartment or house. Whether 10 kids or three. Whether SAHM or working. Whether 25 years old or 100. The Lord is the source of my strength in every situation.

Ends of the earth, here I come! (eventually)

Thursday Stories

Hello again! I hope you’re enjoying this series of stories as much as I am! This next story was written by a dear friend of mine who has refused to let me respond to the question “how are you? ” with “okay” or “fine” when I’m actually not. She genuinely wants to know how I am. She celebrates with me when I actually am okay, fine, or better because she knows what I went through to get there.
Her story is hard but thanks to God’s strength she has come out the other side joyful. Her courage has been a huge encouragment to me.

Stories from San Antonio

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

“Hey God, it’s me again. I just want to take a minute and remind you that sometimes it is REALLY hard to do the things you ask of me. Sometimes I think it might be impossible. I mean, I know you’re there, and I know it can happen because of You, but I still just want to remind you, it’s not easy. Oh yeah, that is how you want it isn’t it…”

I know I’m not the only one who has conversations like this with God. I know I’m not the only one who looks around and says “but….” However, sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one that thinks Job had it easy, maybe building an ark would be more simple, or parting the Red Sea a bit less of a challenge than what God has set before me. But when I stop, and I really think, and I really study, and I really pray instead of just whining, I realize that no matter what God sets in front of me, I absolutely don’t want to be the one who steps away from the call and retreats to the sidelines.

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?” Kathleen Kelly ~ You’ve Got Mail

Sometimes I forget, it seems impossible to do, but it’s true. Sometimes I forget what I have been through, what trials and hardships I’ve had to endure. Instead sometimes I look at my life, and I think that it is small, that it is filled with drudgery, and that it is menial in the scope of God’s kingdom. Sometimes I get frustrated because I want to write a book to tell my story, and it just doesn’t happen. Then I get extra frustrated because I have felt for years that God wants me to tell my story, so why can’t I write it? That’s when I realize that telling my story can happen in a number of ways. That’s when I realize that my life isn’t small if I live it for God no matter how menial the tasks may feel. That’s when I realize that God has given me a story not only so that I can tell it, but so that I can live it. So I can walk alongside others in the hard parts of their stories and be a supporting character. Is it hard for me? Yes. Does it bring up my own hurts and open old wounds? Yes. Are we meant to live a life of ease and comfort? No.

I have spent much of my adult life wondering why I was “gifted” with the ability to see through the façade people put up, why I struggle with being overly blunt, and why it’s really hard for me to listen or observe a situation and not immediately say, “Well, duh, this is how you fix it.” Then I walked with Aly for a while.

You see, God sent me down a path, and it was dark and twisted, and full of pain, but He set me there. He blessed me with four precious babies, but He took three of them from me too soon. He took my son at 32 weeks of my pregnancy, and then He gave me a beautiful, rambunctious little girl. But then He took the next baby at only six weeks of pregnancy. And then, again, He took from me a daughter at 21 weeks of pregnancy. And that last time, that last time I should have died. But I didn’t.

“Why God, why?”

“So that you can walk with others, my child.”

So that I can sit and cry with the momma who is so anxious about her growing belly because of the fears she has for the health of that child. So I can look a friend in the eyes when they say they are “OK” just a few short weeks after a miscarriage, and I can say, “Really? Because you’re allowed to still hurt.” So that I can use my words to help others realize they are not alone, they are not the only one ever to walk through something like this, and even though it seems all is blackness, there is light, there is hope, and there can be joy again.

Are my days of bravely facing the unknown in my past? Hardly! It seems like I am again on the precipice of a huge choice – do I jump off the cliff and trust that God is there, or do I turn and walk back down the mountain that He and I have climbed? What is next for my family and me? Well, we spent the whole last year preparing our house to sell, so we could move to the country and start a farm. Then God spoke, and not in the quiet whisper I’m kind of used to, but in the loud booming, you-can’t-ignore-it voice. What did He say? Well, He told us that we weren’t moving, that we were staying right where we are for a few more years. What will we do other than go stir crazy in the house I can’t wait to get out of? Well, we are going to foster some kids, and maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll get to adopt some, too.

P.S. You’d better believe I’m scared by this. But you know what? There is a part of me, inside somewhere, that can’t stop smiling…