The Cooking that Counts

It’s the cooking that counts
Not the recipe or the meal
Or the drink or the table
It’s the journey that gets me there
It’s the winding road
And the dust at my foot

It’s the cooking that counts
It’s the mixing and the cracking
It’s the baking and the whisking
It’s the smell of the garlic being crushed
And the feel of the knife in my hand
It’s the anticipation in his eyes
When his nose notices

It’s the cooking that counts
Not the place mats or the company
Not the ingredients or the utensils
It’s the journey that gets me there
It’s the winding road
And the dust at my foot

Bravely Schooling

 

My name is Jennifer.  I am the wife of Bryan who retired from the Army after serving 23 years.  I am the mother of a beautiful 17 year old daughter who is a senior in high school and has been accepted to Texas Tech for the fall of 2016 to study to become a physical therapist.  I have a talented 13 year old son who is already an excellent chef and loves listening to the Beatles and Paul Simon.  I am also blessed with twin boys who are 9 that are as different as night and day.  One is very outgoing and loves puppies and makes people smile with his boisterous take on life.  The other is quiet and very focused, he hears EVERYTHING and is always learning.

__________________________

 

Being Brave.  I don’t think of myself as brave.  Writing this definitely qualifies for me. First off, I am very lucky my parents introduced God to me as the ideal parent-one that is full of love, kindness, compassion and that wants the best for me.  He wants me to make good choices, but allows me the freedom to go down a path that He would rather I not go down and then is there for me when I am stumbling and ask for help-He helps me find my footing and get back on a path.

With that being said I am one of the many who come from a broken home.  For a while as a child I thought that God was punishing me for being selfish and being so focused on material things that when I got the preemie cabbage patch doll for my 10th birthday and  found out that my parents were divorcing I thought that my focus on the doll that I wanted cost me my parents.  Needless to say I struggled while my parents had a very bitter divorce that left me wondering if I was the least bit lovable.  After all, if I was half of each of them and they hated each other so much how could they ever love me.  This brings me to where I began to be brave.

I have had a long journey and God has been there with me from being a 20 year old single mom, to marrying a soldier and much more.  I am going to share with you a little bet about this journey and how God has worked through me and helped me be brave several times.

When I was 20 years old I found myself pregnant and chose to become a mom.  As I drove to work the song Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks came on the radio and I realized that God was giving me a chance to see Him answer a prayer, not the way I was expecting, but in another way if I was willing to let Him work through me.  I had been praying for someone to love unconditionally for years.  Here I was pregnant.  Children are a lot of work, but I saw this pregnancy as a gift-a chance to step onto a new path.  So I stepped out in faith and became a mom.  I did not marry my daughters father-I had grown up in a house where my parents hated each other and I wanted my child to grow up knowing she was loved and wanted.  Her biological was not ready to be a dad and said so, so we amicably parted ways and to this day-soon to be 18 years this March I have no regrets with that choice.  I hold no ill will towards him and she knows of him and that he wanted the best for her.  To be loved and have a family that loved her.  Talk about being surrounded by God!  He blessed me so beautifully by opening a door to allow me to see something differently.

My life changed a lot in March of 1998.  I accepted that God loved me and wanted me.  I then saw that I was going to need to be a mom that focused on my child.  I was not going to look for a man in my life, just be the best mom I could be.  Well after much convincing some friends convinced me that I could be a great mom and still go out with friends sometimes.  In August of 1999 I met my husband out at a dance club when I went out with some friends.   I was a preschool teacher and only out to spend some time with my girlfriends.  My now husband asked me to dance and I turned him down.  I thought that I did not deserve to have any one else in my life since I was a mom and had committed myself to being a mom and staying on the path that I thought I was supposed to be on.  For some reason my husband came back and asked me to dance again.  As you may guess I said yes.  Talk about scary.  I was sure that I was going to be single until my daughter turned 18, but that was not the case.  Bryan was in the Army-super new territory for me-I had no clue about the military at all!  We married in November of 2000 and I found myself learning to trust in God a little more.  We moved to Fort Huachuca and had a son.  God was slowly pushing me out of my comfort zones more and more.  He was there as I learned how to be an army wife and lean on people outside of my family.  In 2004 He was there in the form of human angels who helped me when we lost a baby while Bryan was in Korea.  They took care of my kids and sat with me while I lost that little one.

When Bryan returned from Korea we moved to San Antonio and found surprise surprise we were expecting twins!  I had a really hard time trusting and struggled with my faith while I was pregnant.  I was once again in a new city and expecting.  I knew no one and after the loss the year before I was just scared.  Those first two years here were hard.  I had not connected into the community and called my friends out of state all the time crying and praying that God would help me stop hurting.  This prayer was answered when I called my friend one day and she had just gone with another friend who was speaking to a MOPS group in Colorado Springs.  She said they would pay for me to go to MOPS.  I would love it.  We hung up and I looked up MOPS, I found a group near me and called to see about going-it was mid April and the year was almost over for them.  I cried when I hung up the phone with that groups coordinator.  They did not have room for me since I had twin 1 year olds.  Too many kids and not enough space.  I hurt so badly at that time.  I needed a community and this had sounded perfect.  Luckily my neighbor’s husband was on staff there and heard about me and helped me get signed up for the next year.  I went and knew that I was supposed to be in a group, but just still felt like I was missing something there-most of my table was missing each week , so I kind of still felt alone, but I could almost hear God telling me “keep going, you need this”.  When that group did not renew next year I called one of the other wives from my husbands unit.  I remembered her talking about her group.  I joined her group and my heart felt so full after the first few meetings!  I knew I was where I was supposed to be again.

Well since God was pushing me and pulling me to grow I ended up stepping up into the leadership in that group.  I helped put together their big fundraiser and being on leadership meant getting to go to the MOPS convention.  That one I said yes to not for the sake of God, but because it was in Florida and meant 3 days with other women and no kids!  Wow!  A vacation for ME?  I went and once again God found a way to work through me.  Throughout the convention I heard them talk about “No Mom Alone” and how we are meant to be with others and help God work in us and around us!  I cried most of that weekend.  I came home with a love for MOPS and a desire to be more involved.  I stayed in leadership and ended up sharing my testimony the next year.  The next convention God put a conviction in my heart to step up and help other women by joining the MOPS leadership as a coach.  To this day He amazes me when He calls me to step more and more out of my comfort zone.  

I am now the proud wife of an amazing man who shows me how precious I am to him.  I am also the mom of a beautiful high school senior who makes me so happy.  I am also homeschooling my 13 year old son and my twin 9 year old sons.  I always said I would never homeschool and then God softened my heart and opened doors that have been amazing.  God will open doors for you and hold your hand if you let Him.

I loved the break that I got when they went to school each day.  Then in February of 2013 something changed.  I was finding myself very stressed and upset that my youngest son was struggling and just not getting it at school.  We were spending 2-3 hours on homework and not seeing any improvements.  I decided over spring break to see how it would be if we tried homeschooling.  I pulled out the books I had from friends who homeschooled and we spent the week working on spelling, reading and math.  It was great. By the end of the week my son who would struggle with reading, writing and spelling was sitting and reading a book willingly.

So I prayed.  I had never wanted to homeschool at all.  It was not me!  I loved my time on my own.  Time to cook, clean and more without all 3 boys running around the house and my daughter at the high school.  I began to talk with friends and door after door opened.  A friend suggested I go see the homeschool program her friend used.  I loved it.  It was just what I was looking for.  I found a MOPS group that could accommodate me with homeschooling kids and I pulled them from public school at the end of the 2012-2013 school year.  In all of this, I continued to struggle and have had to truly lean in on God.  My husband’s job in San Antonio lost its funding and he had to move to Maryland at the beginning of our homeschool journey.  He has been in Maryland since October of 2013 and the job was finally funded there for an extended time.  We have had a lot of bumps along the way.  We are now getting comfortable with the homeschooling.   My 13 year old asked to be homeschooled when we began this journey and is thriving with the change.  The twins are doing great too.  My son who was truly struggling is going for Memory Master which is where they will quiz him on information from Latin, Timeline, History, English, Math, Science and Geography from the 24 weeks of school.  My son who had no confidence and struggled day in and day out with feeling stupid is now going for this!  I have found that handing this over to God and letting him lead has been amazing.  I am so lucky that He has blessed our family with this journey and am looking forward to seeing what the next year holds for our family.

Paul Part 5

Today we will see the conclusion of the first missionary journey. Let’s jump into Acts 14.

 Acts 14

1 In Iconium they entered the synagogue of the Jews together, and spoke in such a manner that a large number of people believed, both of Jews and of Greeks. 2 But the Jews who disbelieved stirred up the minds of the Gentiles and embittered them against the brethren. 3 Therefore they spent a long time there speaking boldly with reliance upon the Lord, who was testifying to the word of His grace, granting that signs and wonders be done by their hands.4 But the people of the city were divided; and some sided with the Jews, and some with the apostles. 5 And when an attempt was made by both the Gentiles and the Jews with their rulers, to mistreat and to stone them, 6 they became aware of it and fled to the cities of Lycaonia, Lystra and Derbe, and the surrounding region; 7 and there they continued to preach the gospel.

8 At Lystra a man was sitting who had no strength in his feet, lame from his mother’s womb, who had never walked. 9 This man was listening to Paul as he spoke, who, when he had fixed his gaze on him and had seen that he had faith to be made well, 10 said with a loud voice, “Stand upright on your feet.” And he leaped up and began to walk. 11 When the crowds saw what Paul had done, they raised their voice, saying in the Lycaonian language, “The gods have become like men and have come down to us.” 12 And they began calling Barnabas, Zeus, and Paul, Hermes, because he was the chief speaker.13 The priest of Zeus, whose temple was just outside the city, brought oxen and garlands to the gates, and wanted to offer sacrifice with the crowds. 14 But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard of it, they tore their robes and rushed out into the crowd, crying out 15 and saying, “Men, why are you doing these things? We are also men of the same nature as you, and preach the gospel to you that you should turn from these vain things to a living God, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and all that is in them. 16 In the generations gone by He permitted all the nations to go their own ways; 17 and yet He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good and gave you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.” 18 Even saying these things, with difficulty they restrained the crowds from offering sacrifice to them.

19 But Jews came from Antioch and Iconium, and having won over the crowds, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing him to be dead.20 But while the disciples stood around him, he got up and entered the city. The next day he went away with Barnabas to Derbe. 21 After they had preached the gospel to that city and had made many disciples, they returned to Lystra and to Iconium and to Antioch, 22 strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying, “Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.” 23 When they had appointed elders for them in every church, having prayed with fasting, they commended them to the Lord in whom they had believed.

24 They passed through Pisidia and came into Pamphylia. 25 When they had spoken the word in Perga, they went down to Attalia. 26 From there they sailed to Antioch, from which they had been commended to the grace of God for the work that they had accomplished. 27 When they had arrived and gathered the church together, they began to report all things that God had done with them and how He had opened a door of faith to the Gentiles. 28 And they spent a long time with the disciples.

My first thought when I read verse 12 was “Seriously?! Come on guys, get with it!” But then I realized that some day, if someone were to write a honest biography of my life, readers could probably say that pretty often about me. It’s easy to jump to a judgement on these guys in Iconium, particularly because they’re so far removed from the here and now. We need – I need – to remember that they were real people with real doubts and real fears and real pasts. Once I put myself in that mindset, I can see how they jumped to that conclusion based on their culture and society. Even the priest of Zeus was on board with it.

But Paul and Barnabas said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They tore their clothes! They tried to convince the people of their errors! Can you picture it? They are rejoicing and celebrating a healing and wanting to offer sacrifices, and the very fellow who healed comes running in opposing what they’re doing! It must have seemed crazy to them. They didn’t understand Paul’s purpose, only that he had healed. They didn’t understand the God alone gave that power. They didn’t understand, and they stoned Paul.

I guess they didn’t stone him well enough, because he got up sometime later and went about his business. Many believed, and elders were appointed, and they came back around to Antioch, where they began. They reported what God had done and then spent time with the disciples.

Paul is one tough cookie. It seems he’s being thrown out of cities left and right, and now he’s actually stoned? Tribulations indeed! I would be so discouraged at this point, I would probably just go home. But Paul and Barnabas press on and many believe as a result.

Friends, what is discouraging you today? What is coming between you and what God has for you? Press on. Persevere through. Lean on the Lord, and He can do great things through your time of tribulation!

Thursday Stories

Hello again! Today’s brave story is a beautiful account of God building up a family. Suzanne and her husband Adam have two adopted children and one on the way from China! I hope this story excites you to step out in faith!

Stories from San Antonio (and China!)

Waters crashed beneath his feet, but in that moment of trust, Peter didn’t even notice. His eyes were bravely fixed on the one who calms our fears and carries our burdens. Suddenly, distractions over came him, and his eyes were drawn away from Jesus, down to the waves. Fear enveloped him, and he was sinking.

Have you ever felt like Peter? Boldly stepping out in faith, only to momentarily lose sight of Him and scream out, “Wait! What was I thinking? Lord, save me!” as you realize you are standing on water with no boat or support. The hand of Jesus reaches out to catch you, as He says, “‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?'” (Matthew 14:31b, NIV)

How quickly we sometimes step out in faith but just as easily forget about Him.

Adoption is an amazing journey of faith and trust. There are moments that are easy because you clearly see the hand of God, but at the same time, there are decisions to be made that are incredibly difficult or scary. And then are moments in the journey when fear, disappointment, or doubt can creep in and pull your focus away from the Lord. You begin to sink, only to realize you must cry out to Him for help.

Choosing to follow God’s call to adoption was easy in theory. We said, “Yes, Lord! Adoption will be our plan A.” Our hearts leaped with excitement at the thought. We pushed forward, but as the country paperwork phase began, mounds of documents started collecting on my desk, and I began to feel as it I would never get finished. I can honestly say that now, on our third adoption, it doesn’t get any easier.

With each new adoption we step out into uncharted waters, initially excited at what God has in store, but inevitably, at some point, I let the crashing waves distract me and pull focus momentarily away from the One who asked us to water on water in the first place. Questions and impatience creep in trying to pull my focus from Jesus. How do we pick achild? Is this my child? What if God asks you do something CRAZY that you never thought you would do like adopt an 8 year old boy?!

The good news is that even when we let things pull our focus in the wrong direction, God is there ready to grab hold of us and pull us out of the water. Even though we doubt at times and our faith may waiver, He will forgive us and help us to bravely push on. Hopefully, we gain a little more faith before the next wave hits us. With each adoption, while I have been distracted at times, I can look back and remember how His timing is always perfect and His plan far exceeds my finite imagination.

So when God asks us to travel into uncharted waters for Him, step out bravely in faith knowing and remembering all that He has done for us and how everything we do should bring glory to His name. He is faithful. He will not forsake you and will be there to carry you.

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,’
‘As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.'”
declares the Lord.
(Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV)

 After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband Adam to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter came into their lives in 2011 from the Fujian Province, China. Their son joined their family in January of 2013 from Shanghai, and another little girl will be joining their family in 2015 from the Hunan Province. After a career in politics, Suzanne is thankful for God’s provision in their lives that now allows her to work part time as a Pilates instructor while home schooling their children. You can follow their adoption journey and life on their blog, Surpassing Greatness.