The Apartment

Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll be living in a new home by the time you read this. As of right now, though, I live in an apartment. Today is Monday, and I am writing this for you to read next Monday, which is today, because you’re reading it right now. Wibbly wobbly, right?

See, I’ll be a little bit busy this weekend moving from our apartment of three years to our new house, and I don’t think I’ll get around to writing a post during all that, especially since I don’t know if we’ll have the internet up and running by then. So, hello from the past!  Timey wimey!

I am really really excited about moving. We intended to live in an apartment for a year, two years max. Now, after three years, we’re finally going to have a yard again! We’ll be able to invite people over for dinner and not be cramped. We’ll be able to paint walls, and change floors, and move things around and, plant vegetables, and start fires (in a contained location for the purpose of smores, of course), and, oh! I’m so excited!!

But for now, while I’m writing this, I am still living in an apartment.
For four more days. Sigh.

Although I am incredibly anxious to have a yard again, I have to admit, I am feeling a little bit nostalgic. We’ve had three good years here, and today, I heard this song by Trace Adkins on the radio. It kind of got to me, like music often does. I remember being a teenager and wanting so badly to be an adult. I wish I had just slowed down, taken some of my mother’s advice, and enjoyed being a teen. Later, I wanted more than anything to be married. Then, to have kids and be a stay at home mom. Now, to move to a house that we plan to grow old in. The thing is, there will always be a next step. Always something else to strive for. I don’t want to  always be on the look out for the next step. I want to enjoy life right now. Soak in the moments, smell the roses, all that jazz.

Philippians 4:4-13
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I need to rejoice always. Not rejoice later when I’m in a house. Not rejoice later when I have a yard. But rejoice always. I need to rejoice even in my apartment. I need to be gentle. I need to pray, and petition, and be thankful. I need to refuse anxiousness and let the peace of God guard my heart and mind. So, even in the midst of moving and waiting and messy, I need to give a squeeze nice and slow, take a deep breath, and let it go. (Any other Daniel Tiger fans out there?) The person described in verses 4-7 would not be anxious to get out of here. She would calm down and rejoice in the Lord for the good times now past. I am going to take verse 8’s advice and focus on some positives.

10 Awesome Things That Have Happened While Living in an Apartment

1. My first pregnancy was here. It was a long, beautiful, trying, wonderful 9 months!

2. This is where we brought Amelia home after she was born. I’ll never forget the joy I felt standing in my living room here surrounded by family. The seams of the apartment nearly burst with all the love that was in here.

3. My hubby and I have worked through many, many, many issues in our marriage here. We’ve grown in patience, in kindness, in joy. We’ve become more open with each other, and our communication has improved tenfold. I think we’ve come a long way in three years.

4. Living here without the support I had back home forced me to face some things in myself that I had been avoiding. I learned to lean on God more fully and draw my strength and joy from Him.

5. I learned how to cook here. I knew some basic things, like macaroni and cheese or calling Pizza Hut, and I had tried a little bit during our first year of marriage, but now I can comfortably make something different for dinner every night, and it’s healthy, mostly. Also, I can bake now. Whoa.

6. Amelia’s first steps, first words, first peepee on the potty, I could go on, and on, and on. The first year and a half of her life has been here, and it’s been amazing.

7. Getting to know my neighbors. Although apartment life means our neighbors change often, it also puts more urgency in the friendship. We might only know you for a year, so I need to tell you about Jesus.

8. We brought home our second kitty, Sadie, to this apartment. We’ve had our first kitty, Jo, for almost four years, and we’ve had Sadie now for almost two years.

9. Our family has grown from 2 adults and a kitty, to 2 adults, 2 kitties, 1 toddler, and 2 babies in heaven.

10. I discovered that I actually can grow plants.

10 Things I’ll Miss About Apartment Life

1. When things break, somebody else fixes it.

2. Somebody else does the lawn care.

3. Close proximity to neighbors. I love getting to know who I’m living near.

4. The pool. There’s very little chance we’ll ever have anything bigger than a kiddie pool in our backyard. The pool here is big, and awesome, and, most importantly, maintained by someone else.

5. Small utility bills.

6. The shared patio. Sitting outside almost guarantees that someone to talk to will stop by.

7. The downsizing. The small size of the apartment forced me to figure out which things I really really wanted and to get rid of the rest.

8. The gym. Sure, I only stepped foot in there once, but still. I could have used it any time I wanted–if I had wanted.

9. The office ladies. They’re really nice.

10. The events. We’ve had Easter egg hunts, and pool parties, and various other events to build a sense of community.

Yes, I’ll miss this place. It has been a very good three years.

Let’s look at the last few verses again.

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Content whatever the circumstances. Whether apartment or house. Whether 10 kids or three. Whether SAHM or working. Whether 25 years old or 100. The Lord is the source of my strength in every situation.

Ends of the earth, here I come! (eventually)

The Holiday

Sorry about my lack of consistent posting, but I have a really good excuse: December.

This holiday season has been one of my busiest yet. We had plans every weekend starting on Thanksgiving and going until New Year’s Day. We visited this family and that family, and those friends and these friends. On top of all that, we are purchasing a new (to us) home. So in between get togethers and shindigs, hubs and I were house hunting—we are currently in the inspection phase of our dream home! Woohoo! And in between shindigs and house hunting, I’ve been packing up just about everything in our apartment. With a toddler. Yup. Busy.

Now that the chaos is settling down, Christmas is over, nothing left to plan aside from moving, I thought I’d sit down and reflect on this season that passed oh so quickly. Did I focus on the birth of Jesus or on traveling and shopping? Did my actions this season reflect the humility I feel when I think about the Creator of heaven and earth coming to Earth as a tiny baby to save me? If others had observed me this December, was it obvious that I was celebrating CHRISTmas, or could I have just as easily been celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or Festivus?

I would like to think that it was obvious that I was celebrating Jesus’ birth. The best way to tell where your heart is, though, is to look at your time and your money. My time was spent packing up the apartment, eating delicious things, wrapping presents, driving to Houston/East Texas/Austin, eating other delicious things, playing games that got us all laughing, chewing the fat with family and friends, eating even more delicious things, playing with kids, and driving back home. My money was spent on food and gas and presents and food (are you seeing a pattern?) and decorations. All good things. All things that could glorify God. All things that non-Christians spend their time and money on also. So, what set me apart? Anything? Anything at all?

Christmas Eve was spent at my dad’s house, just like last year and the year before and most years before that. We played and giggled all day long. Evening finally arrived. We had dinner together, and the kids put together some awesome wooden puzzles my dad made for them. The kids were itching to open presents, but Grandad (a.k.a. my daddy) said there was something we had to do first. We all sat down in the living room, and he told us about creation praising the Lord. Then we read the Animal’s Christmas Eve and sang happy birthday to Jesus as if we were animals praising God—I make a pretty good kitty cat, by the way. We opened presents then made a birthday cookie cake for Jesus. We ended the evening by sharing our prayer needs with each other.

That’s what sets us apart. Yes, we did lots of things that non-Christians do, too, in December because it’s tradition and it’s fun. But we also paused and refocused on Jesus. And then did it again and again so we didn’t forget. We are set apart.

I can say with some confidence that it was obvious I celebrated Christmas instead of Festivus, and not simply because I said “Merry Christmas” in response to “Happy Holidays,” but because I paused, because my family paused, to remind ourselves of the true reason for the season: Jesus coming to Earth as a baby so that He would grow up to live a blameless life, take the punishment for my sin by dying on the cross, and conquer death so that I might live.

Even though Christmas is over and it’s a new year, Merry Christmas, ya’ll.

Ends of the earth, here I come!

P.S. Below are a few of the awesome conversations I had with my niece and nephew who are adorable. I wish I had a tape recorder listening to them all day long.

Asher: do you know who won between God and Pharaoh?
Me: tell me who won
Asher: God won of course
Zoee: God always wins His battles.
———————–
Grandma: what does the sun do when it shines?
Zoee: it praises Jesus!

The Phone

My daughter accidentally dropped my phone in HEB on Thursday. And when I say “accidentally dropped,” what I mean is, “threw it down the aisle because she was tired of playing with it.” Yeah. Life with a toddler.

This was not the first accidental drop my phone has taken. When we first got these phones two years ago, I dropped my phone from my knee to the concrete while sitting outside, and it cracked the screen. My Otterbox arrived in the mail the next day. Then, about a week later, I was showing off my awesome new Otterbox and dropped my phone, and there went another crack off of the original one. These two cracks were all I had for a long time. Then one fateful day, my little baby became a toddler. She would play with my phone and then carefully lay it on the table when finished. When I say “carefully lay it on the table,” what I mean is, “throw it onto the ground with as much force as a 16 month old can muster.” Yeah. Toddlers.

Well, after my two cracks and a few months of toddlerdom, my phone finally bit the dust in the school supply aisle of my local HEB. The screen turned all sorts of beautiful colors, and the ringtone was a delightful out-of-tune version of what it used to be. Needless to say, the touch screen no longer worked, and by lunch time, the beautiful colors were just black and the phone was ready for the dump. Since it was time for an upgrade anyway (It was time for an upgrade last month but we were debating whether to stay with our current carrier or switch. #firstworldproblems), we decided to go ahead and get a new one instead of doing the insurance thing.

Now I have to wait FOUR DAYS for my new phone to arrive in the mail. FOUR DAYS! Can you believe that? Four days without Facebook, Instagram, and Gmail in the palm of my hand. Four days of not listening to Adventures in Odyssey through the tape thingamajig in my car. Four days of not being able to text or make a phone call or play Angry Birds! How would I drive anywhere without GPS? How would I let the world know how awesome my sandwich was at lunch? How would I capture adorable moments of my daughter playing in a mere 10,000 photos?

In the midst of all my frustration and impatience, I recalled some unease my missions pastor had about my trip to Madagascar. He was pretty concerned with how I would transition from the one of the richest countries in the world to one of the poorest, especially since I’ve never been outside the US. I confidently informed him that although I’m not accustomed to things like outhouses and public wells and things of the sort, I would certainly find the strength within me to deal with these sorts of things. Of course I’d be able to adjust, even if it was a little bit difficult. It’s not like I’m one of those spoiled American brats who buys new clothes just because, or has multiple cars, or goes out to eat whenever the mood strikes, or is dependent on a phone for daily tasks.

Oh, wait.

Upon realizing that I was most certainly a spoiled American brat, I decided to turn to Scripture for help. The Bible says a lot about wealth. Basically, the love of money is the root of all evil. But not all Scripture says that money is a terrible, terrible thing, which surprised me. In fact, Solomon talks about wealth very fondly in Ecclesiastes. And Paul is just as content with prosperity as he is with being poor.

Ecclesiastes 7

¹¹ Wisdom along with an inheritance is good
And an advantage to those who see the sun.
¹² For wisdom is protection just as money is protection,
But the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the lives of its possessors.
¹³ Consider the work of God,
For who is able to straighten what He has bent?
¹⁴ In the day of prosperity be happy,
But in the day of adversity consider—
God has made the one as well as the other
So that man will not discover anything that will be after him.

Solomon is the richest, wisest guy ever and he says that money and wisdom are both very good things. He calls them both protection, which interestingly enough, is the Hebrew word tsel which means “shadow, shade.” The same word was used 53 times in the Old Testament. Sometimes, it meant literally the shade of a tree or rooftop like in Jonah. The tree that the Lord provided and then took away shaded Jonah as he sat outside Ninevah after the people turned from their wicked ways. Other times, the word meant something closer to refuge as in Psalm 57. David took refuge in the Lord, in the shadow of His wings. He was on the run from Saul, living in caves, and trusting in the Lord for protection.

In Ecclesiastes 7, Solomon is calling money a refuge. A place to sit and rest without the heat of the sun beating down. With money, I am comfortable. I can have a phone and buy clothes when I feel like it and go out to eat when the mood strikes. Money protects me from starvation and from weather. It protects me from discomfort or even sickness. Money is most certainly a protection.

Wisdom is also called protection but there’s a major difference between the two. Wisdom protects and preserves the lives of its possessors where money only protects. Wisdom offes security beyond basic needs of survival like food and shelter. Wisdom revives and restores. Wisdom refreshes.

Solomon explains that God made prosperity as well as adversity in order to show man that there is nothing that will be after him. Money is good but it’s just money. Wisdom is good but adversity still visits the wise. And no one can change that. God allows for both for His glory. Can anyone undo what God has done? Can anyone alter what God has set in motion? No, not one! So whether I’m in America with a phone and other wonderful modern conveniences or in Madagascar without any of those things, God has made them both and it is possible to be content in both. My contentment should not be from conveniences but rather from the Lord. Check out Paul’s words to the church at Philippi.

Philippians 4

¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. ¹¹ Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. ¹² I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. ¹³ I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. 

Living humbly and living in prosperity is no different when my strength comes from the Lord. So, I will be without a phone for four days. Oh well. I will learn to be content. I suppose traveling to Madagascar will probably be a rougher transition than I originally imagined, but the Lord created the situation in the United States just as He created the situation in Madagascar.

Ends of the earth, here I come!

The Parent

Do you ever feel like you are telling your kids to do something that you don’t do?

“Eat all your vegetables!” but you didn’t even put vegetables on your plate.
“Check your attitude!” you say in your best Oscar the Grouch voice.
“Get outside and exercise!” but you haven’t gone running since high school.

I have noticed myself doing this lately, and I find that I correct my daughter on things that bug me the most about myself. I literally just ate leftover pancakes for lunch, but my daughter had rice, mustard greens, and navy beans. I made her drink all of her water, too. I had Dr. Pepper. Also, I am not always the nicest person some mornings. I get grouchy. Not every morning, but sometimes. When my daughter wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, though, I correct her on that. I want her to wake up with a smile but I don’t have to? I think I see a problem here…

Let’s looks at Matthew 5 again. This passage keeps coming up in my life, so maybe I ought to take some note of it.

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.
¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; ¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

I have absolutely no reason to be grouchy in the morning. I have a warm bed that I wake up in every morning. My husband is snoring contentedly next to me. My daughter is in the next room. She may be crying or playing depending on her mood that day, but she’s there and she’s safe. I have an indoor bathroom. Even one generation ago, a significant number of Americans couldn’t say that. My kitchen is stocked with good, nutritious food. I don’t have to worry about whether or not I will have breakfast that morning. Instead I worry about whether to make pancakes, oatmeal, grits, toast, or just cut up some fresh fruit. I don’t mean to brag but I’ve got it pretty dang good, ya’ll!

One of the concerns that some people have had about my trip to Madagascar is the different culture. Currently, Madagascar is one of the 10 poorest countries in the world. The United States of America is on the other end of the scale, though. I understand that it’s different, but I can’t seem to wrap my mind around just how unalike these two countries are. The feeling is similar to when I learned how to multiply double digits. I understood the concept and I understood single digit multiplication, so I knew double digit multiplication was possible. I knew it was a thing, but I couldn’t get my mind to understand just what was involved in that until I actually put pencil to paper and did it myself. I think the same is going to be true about traveling to Madagascar: I understand the concept of a different culture, and I know that it is possible for people to live well and happily without all the modern conveniences, like sinks that are inside, but I don’t think I will understand what that truly means until I step off the plane and see Madagascar for myself. Until I live there for two weeks and interact with people. Eat, sleep, and drink they way they do. Live life with them. And I am thrilled to get to do that. If I am going to be a light for all men to see and glorify God, I need to check my attitude. Instead of waking up grouchy, I am going to start counting five good things every morning before I roll out of bed. I have it pretty good here, and in order to get ready to go to a place that is so significantly different from what I am used to, I need to start recognizing what I have.

The other side of that coin is knowing that I don’t really have what I have. All that I own is not mine. It has been entrusted to me by the Lord in order that I might use it to shine for Him. That knowledge helps me not worry about funds for my trip. He has $5,000. The money is no problem. Remember Philippians 4:19? “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” God could have easily dropped whatever Paul and Timothy needed right into their laps. He’s God. He can do that. But instead, God prompted the church at Philippi to send resources to them, and then God blessed the church. That’s still true today, ya’ll. God could drop a plane ticket, cash for food, and some extra to bless the ministry already happening in Madagascar into my lap, but He hasn’t done that. He did that for the Israelites in the desert. He dropped manna into their laps daily. He could do it for me, but He hasn’t. I think that’s because God want to use you. So, if you would like to contribute to that, if you would like to allow God to use your resources to send me to Madagascar on His behalf, you can click here and donate. I don’t have any money raised yet, but I sure could use some. And please, share the link even if you’re not going to donate. Maybe you have a friend who will.

Ends of the earth, here I come!