**Feel free to print for personal use only**
I encourage you to read the daily passage in context. You can find it here.
22 “The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works,
before his deeds of old;
23 I was formed long ages ago,
at the very beginning, when the world came to be.
24 When there were no watery depths, I was given birth,
when there were no springs overflowing with water;
25 before the mountains were settled in place,
before the hills, I was given birth,
26 before he made the world or its fields
or any of the dust of the earth.
27 I was there when he set the heavens in place,
when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,
28 when he established the clouds above
and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,
29 when he gave the sea its boundary
so the waters would not overstep his command,
and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.
30 Then I was constantly at his side.
I was filled with delight day after day,
rejoicing always in his presence,
31 rejoicing in his whole world
and delighting in mankind.
32 “Now then, my children, listen to me;
blessed are those who keep my ways.
33 Listen to my instruction and be wise;
do not disregard it.
34 Blessed are those who listen to me,
watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway.
35 For those who find me find life
and receive favor from the Lord.
36 But those who fail to find me harm themselves;
all who hate me love death.”
Today’s brave story is from a dear friend of mine, Emily Roosa, who always has a smile and a hug ready and waiting for me every time I see her. She’s a beautiful woman of God who’s glass is not half full or half empty but rather overflowing because she is constantly seeking the Father who pours into her daily. I hope you are encouraged by her brave story!
Stories from San Antonio
In July of 2010, I tripped on some uneven ground and hurt my foot. I knew that I either broke it or sprained it. I went to the doctor’s office and they told me it was sprained and informed me not to swing dance for a week. My all time favorite passion was swing dancing! I used to dance for hours many nights a week. I was so upset when I was told I could not dance for a week! Little did I know the adventure that God had planned for me! I soon discovered that I was misdiagnosed. Another doctor told me I had a stress fracture in my foot. So I wore a boot for several months. Then I discovered I was misdiagnosed again, and another doctor informed me that I had several fractures and a mid foot torn ligament. So I was in an orthopedic shoe, a boot or walking cast for about 6 months total. It took me a full year to get my foot back to “normal.” I was finally allowed to swing dance again!
I got to dance two swing dance songs in August 2011. The next day, the doctor said, “No more swing dancing, etc, until we find out what is wrong with your back.” After I got out of the boot and cast, while my foot was getting back to normal, my lower back started to hurt. My back was hurting for a few months prior to the two songs that I got to dance to that night. So the adventure continued. Then before I knew it, I had mysterious pain all over my body, my skin hurt, my muscles hurt, my sides hurt, I had deep aches all over. I was then tested for many things. I have had MRIs on my lower back, hips, upper back, head, cat scans on my pelvis. You name it and I was tested for it. I had skin biopsies done, x-rays, and blood work done. I was tested for MS, Lupus, and many more. It is now Feb 2015 and after seeing over 20 plus doctors and medical staff….still no one knows what is wrong with me. I have seen chiropractors, back doctors, foot doctors, hip doctor, endocrinologists, rheumatologist, eurologists, physical therapists, massage therapists, GI doctor, an internal medicine doctor, etc. The list of doctors is never ending. I have tried stretching exercises, injections, strict diets, to name a few, and nothing has taken away the pain. I have typed up all of the testing that I have had done and the results. I also have typed up many pages of the unique symptoms that I have and the chronic pain. I have given these typed up notes to each doctor that I have seen. Some of them read my notes, some do not. I have seen good doctors and not so good doctors. Each appointment I never know how it will go. I have had medical staff say different things such as “Something is wrong!” or “I lay in bed trying to think what is wrong with you, and it just baffles me.” or “In 20 years I have never had someone be in so much pain after a stretching exercise.” or “If you are in chronic pain for over 2 years there is nothing to really do about it.”
However, when I feel anxious, overwhelmed, sad, fearful, I lay my requests in God’s hands before and after the appointments and each time God gives me a peace and a joy, letting me know He has it all under control. The exciting thing is that when I pray, God tells me consistently that there is purpose to the duration and confusion. There is purpose to all of it! God tells me that none of this is taking Him by surprise and He knows exactly what all is wrong with me. Although this has been life changing for me in all areas…I can honestly say I am truly grateful for what God is doing! I have learned what it means to cling to God and to pour out my heart to Him. I have learned so much about God’s character throughout all of this! God has literally guided me step by step when the path has been dark and He continues to guide me. So 4 and a half years later, the mystery still continues. I am still actively seeking medical attention, in regards to finding out what is wrong with me. God says there is purpose to all of it! So I trust Him! This whole thing has grown my faith tremendously! God is teaching me to wait in Joyful Hope! Thank You God for everything that You are doing in regards to my health! I can see You actively working in my life! I am so thankful! Although I would have never asked for this adventure, I do thank You for it! Thank You for wowing me each step of the way and never leaving my side!
Habakkuk 3:17-19
Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll be living in a new home by the time you read this. As of right now, though, I live in an apartment. Today is Monday, and I am writing this for you to read next Monday, which is today, because you’re reading it right now. Wibbly wobbly, right?
See, I’ll be a little bit busy this weekend moving from our apartment of three years to our new house, and I don’t think I’ll get around to writing a post during all that, especially since I don’t know if we’ll have the internet up and running by then. So, hello from the past! Timey wimey!
I am really really excited about moving. We intended to live in an apartment for a year, two years max. Now, after three years, we’re finally going to have a yard again! We’ll be able to invite people over for dinner and not be cramped. We’ll be able to paint walls, and change floors, and move things around and, plant vegetables, and start fires (in a contained location for the purpose of smores, of course), and, oh! I’m so excited!!
But for now, while I’m writing this, I am still living in an apartment.
For four more days. Sigh.
Although I am incredibly anxious to have a yard again, I have to admit, I am feeling a little bit nostalgic. We’ve had three good years here, and today, I heard this song by Trace Adkins on the radio. It kind of got to me, like music often does. I remember being a teenager and wanting so badly to be an adult. I wish I had just slowed down, taken some of my mother’s advice, and enjoyed being a teen. Later, I wanted more than anything to be married. Then, to have kids and be a stay at home mom. Now, to move to a house that we plan to grow old in. The thing is, there will always be a next step. Always something else to strive for. I don’t want to always be on the look out for the next step. I want to enjoy life right now. Soak in the moments, smell the roses, all that jazz.
Philippians 4:4-13
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me.Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
I need to rejoice always. Not rejoice later when I’m in a house. Not rejoice later when I have a yard. But rejoice always. I need to rejoice even in my apartment. I need to be gentle. I need to pray, and petition, and be thankful. I need to refuse anxiousness and let the peace of God guard my heart and mind. So, even in the midst of moving and waiting and messy, I need to give a squeeze nice and slow, take a deep breath, and let it go. (Any other Daniel Tiger fans out there?) The person described in verses 4-7 would not be anxious to get out of here. She would calm down and rejoice in the Lord for the good times now past. I am going to take verse 8’s advice and focus on some positives.
10 Awesome Things That Have Happened While Living in an Apartment
1. My first pregnancy was here. It was a long, beautiful, trying, wonderful 9 months!
2. This is where we brought Amelia home after she was born. I’ll never forget the joy I felt standing in my living room here surrounded by family. The seams of the apartment nearly burst with all the love that was in here.
3. My hubby and I have worked through many, many, many issues in our marriage here. We’ve grown in patience, in kindness, in joy. We’ve become more open with each other, and our communication has improved tenfold. I think we’ve come a long way in three years.
4. Living here without the support I had back home forced me to face some things in myself that I had been avoiding. I learned to lean on God more fully and draw my strength and joy from Him.
5. I learned how to cook here. I knew some basic things, like macaroni and cheese or calling Pizza Hut, and I had tried a little bit during our first year of marriage, but now I can comfortably make something different for dinner every night, and it’s healthy, mostly. Also, I can bake now. Whoa.
6. Amelia’s first steps, first words, first peepee on the potty, I could go on, and on, and on. The first year and a half of her life has been here, and it’s been amazing.
7. Getting to know my neighbors. Although apartment life means our neighbors change often, it also puts more urgency in the friendship. We might only know you for a year, so I need to tell you about Jesus.
8. We brought home our second kitty, Sadie, to this apartment. We’ve had our first kitty, Jo, for almost four years, and we’ve had Sadie now for almost two years.
9. Our family has grown from 2 adults and a kitty, to 2 adults, 2 kitties, 1 toddler, and 2 babies in heaven.
10. I discovered that I actually can grow plants.
10 Things I’ll Miss About Apartment Life
1. When things break, somebody else fixes it.
2. Somebody else does the lawn care.
3. Close proximity to neighbors. I love getting to know who I’m living near.
4. The pool. There’s very little chance we’ll ever have anything bigger than a kiddie pool in our backyard. The pool here is big, and awesome, and, most importantly, maintained by someone else.
5. Small utility bills.
6. The shared patio. Sitting outside almost guarantees that someone to talk to will stop by.
7. The downsizing. The small size of the apartment forced me to figure out which things I really really wanted and to get rid of the rest.
8. The gym. Sure, I only stepped foot in there once, but still. I could have used it any time I wanted–if I had wanted.
9. The office ladies. They’re really nice.
10. The events. We’ve had Easter egg hunts, and pool parties, and various other events to build a sense of community.
Yes, I’ll miss this place. It has been a very good three years.
Let’s look at the last few verses again.
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Content whatever the circumstances. Whether apartment or house. Whether 10 kids or three. Whether SAHM or working. Whether 25 years old or 100. The Lord is the source of my strength in every situation.
Ends of the earth, here I come! (eventually)
Hello again! Today’s brave story is a beautiful account of God building up a family. Suzanne and her husband Adam have two adopted children and one on the way from China! I hope this story excites you to step out in faith!
Stories from San Antonio (and China!)
Waters crashed beneath his feet, but in that moment of trust, Peter didn’t even notice. His eyes were bravely fixed on the one who calms our fears and carries our burdens. Suddenly, distractions over came him, and his eyes were drawn away from Jesus, down to the waves. Fear enveloped him, and he was sinking.
Have you ever felt like Peter? Boldly stepping out in faith, only to momentarily lose sight of Him and scream out, “Wait! What was I thinking? Lord, save me!” as you realize you are standing on water with no boat or support. The hand of Jesus reaches out to catch you, as He says, “‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?'” (Matthew 14:31b, NIV)
How quickly we sometimes step out in faith but just as easily forget about Him.
Adoption is an amazing journey of faith and trust. There are moments that are easy because you clearly see the hand of God, but at the same time, there are decisions to be made that are incredibly difficult or scary. And then are moments in the journey when fear, disappointment, or doubt can creep in and pull your focus away from the Lord. You begin to sink, only to realize you must cry out to Him for help.
Choosing to follow God’s call to adoption was easy in theory. We said, “Yes, Lord! Adoption will be our plan A.” Our hearts leaped with excitement at the thought. We pushed forward, but as the country paperwork phase began, mounds of documents started collecting on my desk, and I began to feel as it I would never get finished. I can honestly say that now, on our third adoption, it doesn’t get any easier.
With each new adoption we step out into uncharted waters, initially excited at what God has in store, but inevitably, at some point, I let the crashing waves distract me and pull focus momentarily away from the One who asked us to water on water in the first place. Questions and impatience creep in trying to pull my focus from Jesus. How do we pick achild? Is this my child? What if God asks you do something CRAZY that you never thought you would do like adopt an 8 year old boy?!
The good news is that even when we let things pull our focus in the wrong direction, God is there ready to grab hold of us and pull us out of the water. Even though we doubt at times and our faith may waiver, He will forgive us and help us to bravely push on. Hopefully, we gain a little more faith before the next wave hits us. With each adoption, while I have been distracted at times, I can look back and remember how His timing is always perfect and His plan far exceeds my finite imagination.
So when God asks us to travel into uncharted waters for Him, step out bravely in faith knowing and remembering all that He has done for us and how everything we do should bring glory to His name. He is faithful. He will not forsake you and will be there to carry you.
“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,’
‘As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.'”
declares the Lord.
(Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV)
After struggling with infertility for 5 years, God led Suzanne and her husband Adam to His Plan A for their lives—adoption! Their daughter came into their lives in 2011 from the Fujian Province, China. Their son joined their family in January of 2013 from Shanghai, and another little girl will be joining their family in 2015 from the Hunan Province. After a career in politics, Suzanne is thankful for God’s provision in their lives that now allows her to work part time as a Pilates instructor while home schooling their children. You can follow their adoption journey and life on their blog, Surpassing Greatness.
Sorry about my lack of consistent posting, but I have a really good excuse: December.
This holiday season has been one of my busiest yet. We had plans every weekend starting on Thanksgiving and going until New Year’s Day. We visited this family and that family, and those friends and these friends. On top of all that, we are purchasing a new (to us) home. So in between get togethers and shindigs, hubs and I were house hunting—we are currently in the inspection phase of our dream home! Woohoo! And in between shindigs and house hunting, I’ve been packing up just about everything in our apartment. With a toddler. Yup. Busy.
Now that the chaos is settling down, Christmas is over, nothing left to plan aside from moving, I thought I’d sit down and reflect on this season that passed oh so quickly. Did I focus on the birth of Jesus or on traveling and shopping? Did my actions this season reflect the humility I feel when I think about the Creator of heaven and earth coming to Earth as a tiny baby to save me? If others had observed me this December, was it obvious that I was celebrating CHRISTmas, or could I have just as easily been celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or Festivus?
I would like to think that it was obvious that I was celebrating Jesus’ birth. The best way to tell where your heart is, though, is to look at your time and your money. My time was spent packing up the apartment, eating delicious things, wrapping presents, driving to Houston/East Texas/Austin, eating other delicious things, playing games that got us all laughing, chewing the fat with family and friends, eating even more delicious things, playing with kids, and driving back home. My money was spent on food and gas and presents and food (are you seeing a pattern?) and decorations. All good things. All things that could glorify God. All things that non-Christians spend their time and money on also. So, what set me apart? Anything? Anything at all?
Christmas Eve was spent at my dad’s house, just like last year and the year before and most years before that. We played and giggled all day long. Evening finally arrived. We had dinner together, and the kids put together some awesome wooden puzzles my dad made for them. The kids were itching to open presents, but Grandad (a.k.a. my daddy) said there was something we had to do first. We all sat down in the living room, and he told us about creation praising the Lord. Then we read the Animal’s Christmas Eve and sang happy birthday to Jesus as if we were animals praising God—I make a pretty good kitty cat, by the way. We opened presents then made a birthday cookie cake for Jesus. We ended the evening by sharing our prayer needs with each other.
That’s what sets us apart. Yes, we did lots of things that non-Christians do, too, in December because it’s tradition and it’s fun. But we also paused and refocused on Jesus. And then did it again and again so we didn’t forget. We are set apart.
I can say with some confidence that it was obvious I celebrated Christmas instead of Festivus, and not simply because I said “Merry Christmas” in response to “Happy Holidays,” but because I paused, because my family paused, to remind ourselves of the true reason for the season: Jesus coming to Earth as a baby so that He would grow up to live a blameless life, take the punishment for my sin by dying on the cross, and conquer death so that I might live.
Even though Christmas is over and it’s a new year, Merry Christmas, ya’ll.
Ends of the earth, here I come!
P.S. Below are a few of the awesome conversations I had with my niece and nephew who are adorable. I wish I had a tape recorder listening to them all day long.
Asher: do you know who won between God and Pharaoh?
Me: tell me who won
Asher: God won of course
Zoee: God always wins His battles.
———————–
Grandma: what does the sun do when it shines?
Zoee: it praises Jesus!
Me: tell me who won
Asher: God won of course
Zoee: God always wins His battles.
———————–
Grandma: what does the sun do when it shines?
Zoee: it praises Jesus!
Hello again! I hope you’re enjoying this series of stories as much as I am! This next story was written by a dear friend of mine who has refused to let me respond to the question “how are you? ” with “okay” or “fine” when I’m actually not. She genuinely wants to know how I am. She celebrates with me when I actually am okay, fine, or better because she knows what I went through to get there.
Her story is hard but thanks to God’s strength she has come out the other side joyful. Her courage has been a huge encouragment to me.
Stories from San Antonio
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
“Hey God, it’s me again. I just want to take a minute and remind you that sometimes it is REALLY hard to do the things you ask of me. Sometimes I think it might be impossible. I mean, I know you’re there, and I know it can happen because of You, but I still just want to remind you, it’s not easy. Oh yeah, that is how you want it isn’t it…”
I know I’m not the only one who has conversations like this with God. I know I’m not the only one who looks around and says “but….” However, sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one that thinks Job had it easy, maybe building an ark would be more simple, or parting the Red Sea a bit less of a challenge than what God has set before me. But when I stop, and I really think, and I really study, and I really pray instead of just whining, I realize that no matter what God sets in front of me, I absolutely don’t want to be the one who steps away from the call and retreats to the sidelines.
“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?” Kathleen Kelly ~ You’ve Got Mail
Sometimes I forget, it seems impossible to do, but it’s true. Sometimes I forget what I have been through, what trials and hardships I’ve had to endure. Instead sometimes I look at my life, and I think that it is small, that it is filled with drudgery, and that it is menial in the scope of God’s kingdom. Sometimes I get frustrated because I want to write a book to tell my story, and it just doesn’t happen. Then I get extra frustrated because I have felt for years that God wants me to tell my story, so why can’t I write it? That’s when I realize that telling my story can happen in a number of ways. That’s when I realize that my life isn’t small if I live it for God no matter how menial the tasks may feel. That’s when I realize that God has given me a story not only so that I can tell it, but so that I can live it. So I can walk alongside others in the hard parts of their stories and be a supporting character. Is it hard for me? Yes. Does it bring up my own hurts and open old wounds? Yes. Are we meant to live a life of ease and comfort? No.
I have spent much of my adult life wondering why I was “gifted” with the ability to see through the façade people put up, why I struggle with being overly blunt, and why it’s really hard for me to listen or observe a situation and not immediately say, “Well, duh, this is how you fix it.” Then I walked with Aly for a while.
You see, God sent me down a path, and it was dark and twisted, and full of pain, but He set me there. He blessed me with four precious babies, but He took three of them from me too soon. He took my son at 32 weeks of my pregnancy, and then He gave me a beautiful, rambunctious little girl. But then He took the next baby at only six weeks of pregnancy. And then, again, He took from me a daughter at 21 weeks of pregnancy. And that last time, that last time I should have died. But I didn’t.
“Why God, why?”
“So that you can walk with others, my child.”
So that I can sit and cry with the momma who is so anxious about her growing belly because of the fears she has for the health of that child. So I can look a friend in the eyes when they say they are “OK” just a few short weeks after a miscarriage, and I can say, “Really? Because you’re allowed to still hurt.” So that I can use my words to help others realize they are not alone, they are not the only one ever to walk through something like this, and even though it seems all is blackness, there is light, there is hope, and there can be joy again.
Are my days of bravely facing the unknown in my past? Hardly! It seems like I am again on the precipice of a huge choice – do I jump off the cliff and trust that God is there, or do I turn and walk back down the mountain that He and I have climbed? What is next for my family and me? Well, we spent the whole last year preparing our house to sell, so we could move to the country and start a farm. Then God spoke, and not in the quiet whisper I’m kind of used to, but in the loud booming, you-can’t-ignore-it voice. What did He say? Well, He told us that we weren’t moving, that we were staying right where we are for a few more years. What will we do other than go stir crazy in the house I can’t wait to get out of? Well, we are going to foster some kids, and maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll get to adopt some, too.
P.S. You’d better believe I’m scared by this. But you know what? There is a part of me, inside somewhere, that can’t stop smiling…
In October 2014, I attended MOMcon in Kentucky. It’s this wonderful time for MOPs, Mothers of Preschoolers, to get together and encourage each other. The weekend was filled with tons of relaxation, excellent speakers, a bit of dancing (MOMprom rules!), fantastic worship, lots of food (a must when mommies get together), and engaging workshops. It was truly a refreshing weekend. I encourage anyone in MOPs to attend if at all possible. It’s incredible. But enough about the weekend! Back to Madagascar!
One of the workshops I attended focused on MOPS International. I went to this workshop at crazy o’clock on Friday morning with a good friend who is interested in overseas missions. I was there to support my friend; I was not interested at all in the mission field outside of my own Jerusalem. It’s great that other people go all over and share Jesus but I’m not a traveling kind of person. Not me, Lord. By the way, it may not particularly be a good idea to tell God what He can and can’t do with you. Every time I try it, life ends up drastically different from what I imagined! Anyways, while we sat in the chairs and listened to the speaker talk about various countries with new MOPs groups, particularly Madagascar, I knew God was calling me to do what I had told Him I didn’t want to do: travel. The Lord was calling me further than my Jerusalem, further than my Judea. He was calling me to the ends of the earth! Okay, so the world really doesn’t have ends but if it did, Madagascar would be there!
I spent a considerable amount of time in prayer after this workshop. I knew in the workshop that I was going next summer but I wanted to make sure God was sure that He wanted to send me. So I prayed. By the end of all this praying, I felt a little bit like Moses saying “Who am I, that I should go to Madagascar, and that I should tell the moms there of your love and grace?” Check this out in Exodus 3:
7 The Lord said, “I have surely seen the affliction of My people who are in Egypt, and have given heed to their cry because of their taskmasters, for I am aware of their sufferings.8 So I have come down to deliver them from the power of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to a good and spacious land, to a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanite and the Hittite and the Amorite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the Jebusite. 9 Now, behold, the cry of the sons of Israel has come to Me; furthermore, I have seen the oppression with which the Egyptians are oppressing them.
10 Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.” 11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” 12 And He said, “Certainly I will be with you, and this shall be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall worship God at this mountain.”
13 Then Moses said to God, “Behold, I am going to the sons of Israel, and I will say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you.’ Now they may say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?” 14 God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM”; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”
A couple of things I noticed here.
First, God noticed the affliction of the people then He called Moses. He didn’t say “Moses needs some work to do for my kingdom so I’m going to use him for….. let’s see…. oh I know! To bring my people out of slavery! Perfect. That’ll make him feel useful.” Nope. What He said was “I see my people hurting. I’m going to deliver them. Moses, go to Pharaoh.” A) God is doing the delivering, not Moses. B) God is doing this for all His people, not just Moses.
God is saving the moms in Madagascar. God is spreading His truth there. God is doing the work and I’m going to be a tool that He uses. Although I am sure this trip will be life changing for me, I am going to there to serve, to be a vessel for the Lord. God is calling me to Madagascar for the benefit of Madagascar, not the benefit of Aly just like He called Moses for the benefit of Israel, not the benefit of Moses. I’m pretty sure Moses learned a lesson or two along the way but the end goal was getting the Israelite people out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. And that’s exactly what God did.
Second, God doesn’t get frustrated at Moses for questioning at first. It’s not until chapter 4 when Moses starts making excuses rather than simply asking questions that “the anger of the LORD burned against Moses.” He questioned and questioned and questioned and questioned and then God got angry. I think it’s okay to question some but I also think we can easily use questioning as excuses like Moses did. By the end of this exchange between God and Moses, I can almost hear Moses whining “pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Lord, I don’t speak good! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease send someone else! Please pretty please with a cherry on top send someone else!?” He was making excuses to not obey.
I felt certain from the moment the workshop speaker mentioned Madagascar that God was telling me to go. I kept thinking “when” rather than “if” the entire time. Even with all that certainty, though, I still needed some confirmation. I needed to make sure I wasn’t being a crazy lady. I questioned. But God affirmed what I had heard from Him that morning and I took it on faith from that moment on. I still have passing doubts about my enough-ness for something this big, something this important. Then I remember that I AM is the one sending me. The King of kings has my back, ya’ll. I want to question so that all doubts are erased not so that I can find a reason to not go. Please pray with me that that desire stays strong.
Back to the story. I prayed for a good amount of time Friday morning and when I was absolutely certain, I realized I needed to talk to my husband about this. It kind of affects him and our year old daughter some. You know, a little bit. So I called him, expecting to have to convince him that me going across the world for two weeks while he stays in the states and takes care of our kid without me is a good idea. I didn’t have to convince him though. He said okay. He didn’t question my sanity. He didn’t tell me no. He just said okay. He was on board with whatever God had planned for us. So I met with people, gathered contact information, connected on Facebook with Domoina, who you will certainly hear about more later, and started sending emails to anyone I thought might listen.
Ends of the earth, here I come!
Mom's Going to Madagascar 